In any horror movie, the first sign of a demonic possession is when the vermin start coming out the cracks. Random spiders run across the table, roaches pour out your burger –a rat gets into the canary cage and almost massacres poor Tweety.
When the toilets start making weird demonic noises and ants make themselves comfortable in the top drawer of your desk (just underneath your favorite copies of Breitbart and the Daily Stormer), oh, that's the point you know you need to call an exorcist to clear out the entire goddamned cesspool.
Staffers at the White House, it seems, are facing this very same dilemma.leaks, nuclear threats, and even stray dinosaurs, the poor beleaguered staffers now find themselves faced with an infestation of demonic proportions. And by demonic proportions, we mean actual vermin of the animal kind.
Some people, upon hearing this declaration, have been quick to point out the White House is already infested.
@TeaPainUSA I have said since December 2016 that we had an infestation at the White House. The King roach has broug… https://t.co/nAZqfG6gGK— 2old4games🌈💪🇺🇸❣️🌊#VetsResistSupportSquadron (@2old4games🌈💪🇺🇸❣️🌊#VetsResistSupportSquadron)1512135480.0
Some naysayers would point to the Mueller investigation currently scourging the White House as proof that our current leadership is in bed cheek and jowl with some very unsavory people.
@realDonaldTrump Need the Special Council Robert Mueller to complete his investigation of the #TrumpCrimeFamily so… https://t.co/HwanIRfTns— Rodney Wilson (@Rodney Wilson)1510856228.0
Some people have even taken to pointing to the fact that the "swamp" seems to be expanding further and further every day.
@Rosie Oh Rosie you are right! There is an infestation in the White House. Why is it being allowed to grow WHY???— Catherine Schubert (@Catherine Schubert)1508386405.0
But no, while these naysayers bring up all these extraneous details, we're actually here to talk about actual vermin.
@SlythSeeker2017 @romanticskeptc @VP @mike_pence We have an epidemic of idiots infesting the White House. Also some… https://t.co/oVHcdNfBHe— Heel Dotard Trump (@Heel Dotard Trump)1510417731.0
NBC Washington obtained a list of White House work orders for the past two years, and the details are shocking.
So there is a roach and mice infestation inside the White House!? Wait a minute.... https://t.co/WYZxCeEBte— @ Stanley Cup Champions (@@ Stanley Cup Champions)1512154026.0
What's wrong with the White House Navy Mess, you ask? Well, for one thing, it's a damned mess (see what we did there?)
Favored White House talking head Kellyanne Conway also seems to have a vermin problem.
As for ants, turns out there's lots of them in the Chief of Staff's office.
Then again, this isn't the first time the White House has faced an infestation.
@txvoodoo @metaquest This infestation of Trumps and their extended family members will need to be fumigated out of… https://t.co/VoLI7lwnqi— Lyn Harris (@Lyn Harris)1510199172.0