Ah, the holiday season. Snow, presents, cookies, warm crackling fires, and the traditional family drama — what more could you ask for?
We all know what it's like to make the long trek home for the holidays. Adult children return to the nest to be fed and coddled by their parents for a week every winter. Everything is cheerful and wonderful. Until it's not. Inevitably, you scream at each other and cry and slam doors until it's time to gather 'round the table to slice the Christmas ham and put it all behind you...or at least behind a few glasses of spiked eggnog.
These are the tweets that most perfectly capture what it's like to return home for the holidays.
Parents' Movie Questions
Shout out to everyone trying to hear a movie over their parents questions about the movie.— Eliza Skinner (@Eliza Skinner)1514243024.0
I forgot how much of family time is sitting around thinking of things to say while other people say their things they thought of— Aparna Nancherla (@Aparna Nancherla)1514231697.0
A Year's Worth of Complaints
I love being home for Christmas where I receive a year’s worth of complaints in one day and am rewarded with a pair of slippers— Brittani Nichols (@Brittani Nichols)1514222913.0
Spooked at 30
I’m 30 & still get so scared @ my parents house sometimes (ghosts, etc.) that I just ran out of the basement @ top speed w a pie in my hands— Kate Berlant (@Kate Berlant)1514268159.0
extremely quick shout out to everyone trying to work with an unfamiliar shower this holiday season— Chase Bernstein (@Chase Bernstein)1514243320.0
"LIBERAL AGENDA"And here we are. It's only a matter of time before your racist, homophobic, or otherwise intolerant uncle (or aunt or cousin) starts spewing nonsense. That whole "should I/shouldn't I engage" tug of war that happens in your heart isn't a picnic either.
*playing pretend with my niece* Her: “Do you want some food?” Me: “Yes, please.” Her: “There is no food here.”— Allison Raskin (@Allison Raskin)1513883380.0
RevengeOK. Maybe you're not living in a '90s horror flick, but pretty much everyone else is. But the way we're all getting revenge on our hometowns is by looking fabulous as we brag about our coastal, professional lives to the people who never left.
Lowkey Family Drama
Here’s to lowkey family drama like “julie can’t find her other new walkie talkie” and “gaurav ate all the pudding”— Aparna Nancherla (@Aparna Nancherla)1514247008.0
Tech GeniusWhat is it about parents? They just cannot set up their televisions like normal human beings. If it isn't the 13 remote controls you have to use to even turn on, it's that stupid motion smoothing setting they have on that makes everything look jerky and terrible.
High School BluesSome of us have an intense, complex relationship with our hometown, our high schools, and the people we knew growing up. For others though, it's just kind of fun and nostalgic and full of good memories! And you know what? Both are completely valid experiences!!
I’ve learned more about love from watching my dad reluctantly rearrange the living room so my mom can make snow ang… https://t.co/OxWPJUFBCi— Taylor Burkhalter (@Taylor Burkhalter)1514159447.0
This Game Is No Game
I just put down a draw +4 in UNO as retaliation and told my mom “don’t ever come for me.” Merry Christmas! https://t.co/dJR9735qBK— Eliel Cruz (@Eliel Cruz)1514251467.0
"You can return it if you don't like it" - my mom, eight hundred times this morning— ames. (@ames.)1514231639.0