Parents Who Probably Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Have a Phone

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Someday, you are going to be completely useless when it comes to technology. Your children and grandchildren will try to teach you — over and over again — how to download a Cybervid from the Datasphere, and you’ll be lost, referencing outdated technology, like Wi-Fi and the Cloud. Your grandkids will have to download a car every time you ask them to come over to help you with your phone, which at the point will probably be the size of a dime and hooked directly into your brain.

But until that time comes, you can rest assured that you probably know more about technology than your parents do. And you know definitely more than the parents we are about to see in this list. They’re trying their best, bless their hearts. Feel free to laugh, but do so with the understanding that someday in the not too distant future, your own kids may be uploading pictures of you failing to understand the most basic technology.

Screen protector.

Rather than using the screen protector she bought, this mom accidentally applied the plastic that the protector came with to her phone. It’s difficult to use, but get this — it also doesn’t protect the phone whatsoever.

New profile pic.

I’m always amazed at the way parents and grandparents manage to find their own workarounds when the technology “doesn’t work.” I recently got an email from my dad that he had meant to send as a group text to all my siblings. I have no idea how.

“Dawn.”

This person’s mom is named Dawn. Ask me know I know.

Thanks for the pic!

On the plus side, you now have a very entertaining picture of your mom’s nostrils. That’s a plus side, right?

So proud.

Things were off to such a great start! You should have known better than to expect them to stay that way.

Zoom in.

On the one hand, this is pretty funny and a little bit ridiculous. On the other hand, I applaud her for doing whatever it took to see the picture. How was she supposed to know there’s a pinch-to-zoom feature?

A new kind of screenshot.

I think this is ridiculous, but also ridiculously endearing. And you know what? I still write my grocery lists out on actual, physical paper, so who am I to judge?

Better keep this somewhere safe.

In her defense, she’ll always know where to find that friend’s phone number. And her phone will be right there, too! How convenient! She’s one step away from actually storing the phone number in the phone.

208 tabs?!

This mom’s whole life is about to change! I kind of wish I could be there to see it.

This should work.

Is she trying to prevent it from blowing up, or just contain the explosion the cake pan? I need a little more info here.

Yet another way to take a screenshot.

This is incredible. Do you think the recipe was multiple “pages” long? I kind of hope so.

Don’t forget!

Just wait until she finds out that there’s a calendar right on the phone, too. And a calculator.

Peel it!

I don’t know how he’s made it this long with that plastic film covering his phone. It’s actually pretty impressive.

“Listening to the synodic’s phenolics.”

I think that most parents can probably do without the voice-to-text feature on their phones. Nothing good has ever come of it.

This is so pure.

Rather than texting, he sends an image of the text he would send if he could figure out how to text. Like I said, parents always find the best workarounds.

What’s in the box?

To be fair to this dad, this seems like a good way to ensure your phone won’t get damaged before you get a chance to buy a case. It may look a bit silly, but since when do dads care about that?

Just like a Kindle.

Someone buy this man a Kindle. Please. Save him from himself.

Who needs a screen?

Screens are overrated. The old rotary phone never had a screen!

First post.

Knowing what I know about dads, I would say that he is both a genius and had no idea how to use his phone. Two things can be true.

Delete! Delete! Delete!

This poor mom was just trying to bond with her kids about pooping. Let that be a lesson to people out there. Stop taking pictures while you’re pooping.

No thanks, spam.

I don’t even want to know what he sent to some of the more adult spam emails. Let’s hope he left those ones unopened.

Time for a selfie.

Turn the camera around! Dad! Flip the camera! Never mind. At least you have a nice picture of your reaction to your daughter’s engagement.

How…?

I love how you can see the “message” becoming more and more frantic as it goes on. I hope she never changes it.

Lovemaking.

Let’s all take a moment to hope that this is an autocorrect mistake. I don’t want to think about the alternative.

So. Many. Toolbars.

How do you even kind of function with a browser window like this? This is why we can’t have nice things.

No GPS for me.

Actually, this is way better. Now you don’t have to deal with a smart device that actually knows where you are and can help you reach your destination without you having to take your eyes off the road. Wait, no. This is worse.

If only it had worked!

Sure, go ahead and laugh. But just think about how impressed you would have been if it had worked! He would have been a genius!

Impossible!

Phones are basically magic. Thanks to the parents out there who remind us to encourage that starry-eyed wonder.

“dang i lost it.”

This text conversation should probably be studied in high school lit classes. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.

Snapshot.

Wendy’s is really ahead of the game these days. They make great food and incredible apps. Appetizers, that is. Share this with your own tech-illiterate parent! (They probably won’t be able to open the link, though.)