Phrases That Every Single Mom Has Said at Least Once | 22 Words

Moms. You know 'em, you love 'em, but sometimes they drive you just a little bit nuts.

Although no two moms are exactly alike, you have to admit that mothers from all walks of life tend to have quite a bit in common. Like the fact that they will frantically text you to call them, only to ignore you when you finally get a free moment. Or that they constantly leave voicemails saying nothing more than, "Hey. It's Mom. Call me!" Or that you find yourself becoming more and more like your own mom every single day and it kind of freaks you out until you remember that your mom — despite all the low-key annoying things she does — is actually pretty wonderful and you'd probably be lucky to end up like her.

Those things that moms have in common are exactly what we're celebrating today. And by "celebrating," I really mean "poking fun at, but in a good way."

There goes Christmas!

We are solidly into 2019, and I feel like I'm still hearing this sentiment expressed (both by moms and by other people). Christmas is done, people! Check out the grocery store displays! We're all about Valentine's Day now!

Mom's two favorite words.

Funnily enough, she never seems to say anything like, "You have just the right amount of screen time in your life. I'm so proud of you!" Interestingly enough, she also tends to complain about screen time right before returning to her game of Candy Crush. Am I right?

Not what I meant.

Strawberries are good! Oranges are tasty! Kiwis are downright delightful! Do you know what none of those things are? Dessert.

Siri is mom's best friend.

Has anyone ever used voice-to-text with 100 percent successful results? I feel like it's never happened. Ever. Certainly not with a mom at the helm.

Ready Freddie?

Between "Ready Freddie?" and "Sorry Charlie," I'm actually not totally convinced that my mom knows my name. I'll have to quiz her next time I see her.

PREACH.

I feel like a lot of moms latched onto the idea of texting but didn't quite make it to the point of using texting to convey important information. My mom uses it to ask me to call her and also show me her favorite emojis.

So true.

Are most food portions wildly oversized? Yes. That doesn't make this any less odd, though.

Good old-fashioned rubbernecking.

Why is this so true? Have you people been spying on my mom?

One of these days.

If your mom does handmade crafts, there's a pretty good chance that she has some project that was originally meant to be a wedding gift and ended up as a baby shower gift. That's just the way it works.

Busted.

You know alcohol is a drug, right? And you know wine is alcohol? OK. Just checking.

So healthy.

I know there are plenty of benefits to drinking red wine in moderation. I'm just not sure every mom knows what "in moderation" actually means.

Wreath time!

Plastic spoons? Wreath. Book pages? Wreath. Toenail clippings? I haven't seen it personally, but yes! Probably a wreath!

So close!

Remember how excited you were about walking when you first got a FitBit? That's how excited moms are about walking all the time.

How embarrassing!

If any parents reading this are wondering why their kids won't accept their Facebook friend request, this is why. Please stop the madness.

The irony.

Moms really love to chastise you for doing things that they themselves are guilty of doing. See also: The tweet about "screen time."

"So cute!"

It doesn't matter if it's a swanky restaurant or the alley behind your apartment. Everything is cute.

"It's vegetables!"

One of these days, kids are going to realize you're hiding vegetables in all their favorite snacks. I hope you're prepared for that day.

"So handsome."

This is usually followed by saying something along the lines of "you clean up nice!" And then you're asked why you're not dating anyone.

Set it and forget it!

If you can't make it in a CrockPot, your mom is not interested. Unless you can make it in an InstantPot instead. Then she's all ears.

So much laundry.

This is so true! It is always laundry! Everyone sucks at laundry! No one has ever been good at laundry. That is just a fact.

You're not fooling anyone, lady.

I'm pretty sure the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was inspired by the transformation Robert Louis Stevenson saw in his mother between madly cleaning up for company and greeting said company with a cheery smile.

"4:57."

Moms don't just have a bad night of sleep. They wake up at 2:34 am, then finally get back to sleep at 3:48 am, then wake up again at 4:57 am.

Better grab a sweater, then.

I'm pretty sure that's not how being cold works. Either way, guess you better put on some socks.

"That's my daughter!"

But really, this is very sweet. Moms are great, huh?

"No. I don't."

The truth is that you don't, but you have to say that you do. The games we play.

That's one way to do it.

You can show her a better way to do it. You probably have! It doesn't matter.

"You sound sick."

Most likely, you just woke up to a text from her asking you to call. You'll probably regret actually calling her within the first 30 seconds after she answers.

Yeah, right.

Either a nap or a clean house and for no one to argue. But heaven help you if that's all you actually got her.

Too close!

I hope you really like your nose because every picture of you taken of your mom features it. Prominently.

*Complete silence.*

This one's easy. It's because she wants you to come to her rather than "yelling through the whole house." Even though she just yelled through the whole house. Share this with your mom!