Moms. You know 'em, you love 'em, but sometimes they drive you just a little bit nuts.
Although no two moms are exactly alike, you have to admit that mothers from all walks of life tend to have quite a bit in common. Like the fact that they will frantically text you to call them, only to ignore you when you finally get a free moment. Or that they constantly leave voicemails saying nothing more than, "Hey. It's Mom. Call me!" Or that you find yourself becoming more and more like your own mom every single day and it kind of freaks you out until you remember that your mom — despite all the low-key annoying things she does — is actually pretty wonderful and you'd probably be lucky to end up like her.
Those things that moms have in common are exactly what we're celebrating today. And by "celebrating," I really mean "poking fun at, but in a good way."
There goes Christmas!We are solidly into 2019, and I feel like I'm still hearing this sentiment expressed (both by moms and by other people). Christmas is done, people! Check out the grocery store displays! We're all about Valentine's Day now!
Mom's two favorite words.Funnily enough, she never seems to say anything like, "You have just the right amount of screen time in your life. I'm so proud of you!" Interestingly enough, she also tends to complain about screen time right before returning to her game of Candy Crush. Am I right?
Not what I meant.Strawberries are good! Oranges are tasty! Kiwis are downright delightful! Do you know what none of those things are? Dessert.
Siri is mom's best friend.
Safe to say my mom loves using talk to text 😂😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/UDa5MsdRjm— darr (@darr)1546635991.0
Ready Freddie?Between "Ready Freddie?" and "Sorry Charlie," I'm actually not totally convinced that my mom knows my name. I'll have to quiz her next time I see her.
Moms love to text "call me" and then not answer when you do— Third Eye for a Gemini (@Third Eye for a Gemini)1539367801.0
So true.Are most food portions wildly oversized? Yes. That doesn't make this any less odd, though.
Good old-fashioned rubbernecking.Why is this so true? Have you people been spying on my mom?
One of these days.
Moms love to needlepoint one pillow design for 15 years— Clare || BLACK LIVES MATTER (@Clare || BLACK LIVES MATTER)1546991955.0
white suburban moms love to hate on weed for being “addictive” and negatively affecting lives, all while their hous… https://t.co/et8bTIxl38— MJ (@MJ)1546820422.0
So healthy.I know there are plenty of benefits to drinking red wine in moderation. I'm just not sure every mom knows what "in moderation" actually means.
white suburban moms love to make wreaths out of anything and everything— petra, human disaster (@petra, human disaster)1527869977.0
Moms love to talk about "getting their steps in"— Lacey 🦖🦕🌋 (@Lacey 🦖🦕🌋)1542851313.0
moms love to take ugly ass pictures of you and post them all over facebook— kenzie (@kenzie)1541568986.0
The irony.Moms really love to chastise you for doing things that they themselves are guilty of doing. See also: The tweet about "screen time."
Moms love to say “this is a cute place” whenever you bring them anywhere new— Corona Singer (@Corona Singer)1536975836.0
White moms love to hide foods in other foods but then tell everyone about it.— TwinningMom (@TwinningMom)1537391578.0
"So handsome."This is usually followed by saying something along the lines of "you clean up nice!" And then you're asked why you're not dating anyone.
Set it and forget it!
White moms love to talk about what they make in their crockpots— nat (@nat)1535931895.0
So much laundry.
Curated instagram moms love to be like “my life IS NOT perfect, I have a pile of laundry to do!!! 😂” Like it’s al… https://t.co/FsCuH1VKxK— Kat “Defund the Police” Brad (@Kat “Defund the Police” Brad)1542238921.0
You're not fooling anyone, lady.
moms love to greet guests with “I’m so sorry about the mess!!!” after they just spent 8 hours scrubbing the linoleum with bleach— a 12 foot tall plastic skeleton (@a 12 foot tall plastic skeleton)1537889647.0
"4:57."Moms don't just have a bad night of sleep. They wake up at 2:34 am, then finally get back to sleep at 3:48 am, then wake up again at 4:57 am.
Better grab a sweater, then.
moms love to say “I’m cold just looking at you!” when you have literally any skin exposed— Charlotte Fare (@Charlotte Fare)1544233043.0
"That's my daughter!"
Moms love to look for you on TV when you’re sitting at a sporting event surrounded by 30,000 people— Molly (@Molly)1535213421.0
"No. I don't."The truth is that you don't, but you have to say that you do. The games we play.
That's one way to do it.
Moms love to open the camera app to get to their photo albums— Sami Eberhard (@Sami Eberhard)1545837044.0
"You sound sick."
Moms love saying “are you getting sick?”— Tory Armm (@Tory Armm)1535819705.0
Moms love saying that all they want for their birthday/Christmas/Mother’s Day is “a nap”— A-Jones (@A-Jones)1515215136.0
why do moms love to zoom in when they taking your picture— hannah 🍌 (@hannah 🍌)1524438320.0
Moms love to call your name then not say anything when you respond— triple b (@triple b)1514094741.0