When you make a mistake in the privacy of your own home you are probably relieved that it was done in private. But when your wife shares your text exchange about your mistake and it goes viral, you will likely spend the rest of your life not living it down. Such is the case for one man who mistook a little cup he found for a rice scooper.
It doesn’t matter how basic and simple the recipe is, if they attempt to cook it something goes wrong. Anyone who lives with one of these food destroyers understands that there is little hope. But sometimes dinner is left in their hands anyway.
The stereotype of the hapless dad isn’t entirely unfounded, even if it’s unfair and certainly doesn’t encompass all men or all dads.
The women married to kitchen disasters know to make things as easy as possible for them. We leave out the ingredients and necessary kitchen utensils. We leave detailed instructions. We hope for the best.
Dad was cooking dinner, which included rice. He found the rice and utensils his wife had left out for him. He measured out the rice according to the recipe, and left the handy rice scooper in the bag of rice for next time. What he didn’t know, was that handy rice scooper was not really a rice scooper at all.
“What is this doing in the rice?” she asked.
“I used it to measure the rice last night. It said 3 cups of rice,” explained her husband who still had no idea what he had done.
“It’s my MENSTRUAL CUP YOU DICK POD!”
“? Menstalony soup?” her husband responds to the delight and confusion of the world at large.
“It’s MINISTRONE [sic] soup you wanker! Google menstural! [sic]”
And then apparently he did, because the exchange ends with him saying, “Oh fuck!”
Her toddler had gotten ahold of her menstrual cup earlier. In the typical frenzy of mother/toddler interactions, Hobbs got the cup off the kid and put it down and then went about their lives.
Turns out, she didn’t get the opportunity to put it away, and she had put it down on the kitchen counter in the same vicinity as the rice that was thoughtfully left out for her husband to cook with.
Hobbs assures us that the cup was clean, but there’s still no question that everyone on Earth would prefer their rice measured with not a menstrual cup.
Food minded people everywhere wonder how the recipe turned out considering how much smaller the menstrual cup is than an actual measuring cup. Did he measure the water with it too so that everything was in proportion, even if in very small portions?
How different does a menstrual cup look from any number of other kitchen utensils? And when it’s lying there on the counter next to the rice? What else was he supposed to think.
Let this be a lesson for anyone who lives with a hopeless chef. Clear the counter of all other things before laying out the ingredients and utensils you want your spouse to use. Also, let’s just all agree that menstrual cups should never be placed on the kitchen counter. Ever.
Feminine hygiene products are a favorite toy. Kids have no idea what they are or what to do with them, but they like them. And it’s always hilarious.