This Dad Stumbled Upon His 3-Year-Old’s Secret ‘Cut and Run Stash’ of Cash and Guns

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Kids say the darnedest things. And they keep the darnedest stuff. And they have the darnedest stashes of weapons and cash. Wait, what was that last one? A recent Reddit thread explains.

His toddler keeps a stash of money and weaponry. A toddler version of a stash anyway. So, is the kid into some dirty business? Is this cause for alarm?

Good point, any evidence of toddler drugs? Does she always sit with her back to the wall, facing the point of entry? Does she keep odd hours? Has her behavior or personality suddenly changed?

This preschool version of a stash would be a perfect prop for a preschool version of 21 Jump Street. But what to call it? Thankfully, Reddit users have all the answers.

Turns out, there already is a preschool show featuring kids on the street. Which Sesame Street character would be most likely to have a stash like this? Probably Oscar. He lives in a garbage can, clearly he hasn’t been making the best life choices.

Oh no! A spoon! Definitely drug-related. What has this toddler been up to when her parents thought she was napping? It turns out, she isn’t the only little one with a stash like this…

Anyone who has walked the dark side of criminal toddlerhood knows that it could all come crashing down in an instant. One has to be ready to cut and run any time, and this kid is almost there. She just needs a passport. And a sippy cup.

What if she finds out he went through her toys? What if she knows he’s on to her? Put the box down and slowly back away, dad!

A similar photo was posted a few months ago by Reddit user USMC_0481. He was generally disbelieved and accused of staging the box. Skeptics think moses1424 staged his daughter’s stash as well. We’re not so sure though. The idea of the preschool set keeping stashes and “go boxes” is entertaining enough that we’ll set aside our quest for truth and enjoy the threads for what they’re worth.