This Guy’s Story of How He Accidentally Became a Drug Mule is The Best Thing You’ll Read All Day

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Have you ever found yourself in a bizarre situation and you have no idea how you got there? Maybe it started out as a normal night hanging with friends, and you ended up partying until the wee hours of the morning? Maybe it’s a career path you never thought you’d go down or just a crazy coincidence?

Chances are, you’ve probably been in a situation before that you didn’t see coming. That’s a part of life. But for some people – and one Twitter user in particular – that situation comes with incredibly high stakes.

Shane Morris – or @IAmShaneMorris on Twitter – found himself in such a wild predicament that it doesn’t sound real. It sounds more like a Breaking Bad episode, or a Quentin Tarantino movie. Lucky for the internet, he decided to share the wild story about the time he accidentally transported a brick of heroin from Los Angeles to Seattle. Keep reading to find out just how it all went down.

It all started when Shane asked his followers if they wanted to hear about this insane story.

Um, obviously Shane. Anybody would want to hear this story. It sounds wild already. Shane dove right into it.

Like all good stories, it started out with a road trip.

Shane and his friend, Tyler, decide to go on an adventure. Little did they know what this adventure would entail…

They had some pretty exciting moments on the trip.

Of course, this is nothing compared to what ends up happening. Just keep reading…

While resting in Southern California, Shane and Tyler decide to switch things up a bit.

They decide to buy a van. Oh, the life of a free spirit!

Along their trip, they had strangers stop and sign their name on the outside of the van.

But then they started to hit some mechanical issues. I mean, it’s a van from 1979. That’s to be expected, right?

While working on the brakes of the van, Shane decided to inspect a few more things.

A mouse making itself at home in the van engine is the least of the surprising things that Shane was to find… Keep reading to find out what else was in the van.

So eventually, Shane and Tyler continue their travels and make it into Oregon, heading to Washington.

They start to head into the mountainous terrain. But the good ol’ van starts to have some more issues.

Here’s where the story gets interesting.

As they’re pulled over on the side of the road as they’re driving up Mount Jefferson, Tyler finds something in the van’s engine.

You won’t believe what was there…

At this point, I can’t help but wonder how this story is even real! It really sounds like a Breaking Bad episode.

At first, Shane thought the drugs might be cocaine.

Nope, not cocaine. They had just found a brick of pure heroin in their van.

And just like in a movie, that’s the moment when a park ranger decides to drive up to them.

How did they not just pass out at that moment? How would you keep your cool? I would’ve surely fainted.

The ranger then proceeds to help them with the van, never suspicious for a moment about the brick of heroin hiding in the vehicle.

Tyler is a big mood. Shane, however, saw a business opportunity.

So Shane ends up selling the brick of heroin and making some money.

Tyler refuses the money, and then Shane sells the van and moves to Atlanta. But the van was not out of his life just yet… About a year later, he gets a very interesting phone call.

Uh oh.

It’s the son of the man who sold Shane and Tyler the van. And now, he’s looking for it.

It becomes clear to Shane that this guy doesn’t just have fond memories of the van.

He’s after that brick of heroin. The plot thickens!

Shane sees another business opportunity.

He thinks on his feet and hatches a plan.  

Basically, Shane and this guy go back and forth regarding the price of the van.

It’s time for Shane to get the van back, so he can then sell it to this guy and make some money. Dun dun dun…

The plan begins to take form. The owners of the van agree to sell it back to Shane.

He then agrees to meet the guy who wants the van back…

Shane is in it now. There’s no turning back.

He realizes he needs to make a fake brick of heroin. Does anyone else have severe anxiety while reading this story? It just gets worse.

When the guy shows up to get the van back, Shane starts to panic a bit.

But he decides to stick with his plan. Shane writes up a quick bill of a sale and makes the deal with the guy.

Then it starts to feel like a movie.

I’m terrified reading this.

They talk about the brick of heroin without actually talking about the brick of heroin.

At this point, the deal has been made and Shane wants to wrap the whole thing up. After all, they’re bound to find out it wasn’t a real brick of heroin…right?

Shane heads to his cheap little motel. But guess who is also staying at the motel?

The guy he just swindled and his friend. Shane starts to really panic.

Shane hides in his motel room.

But then, he heard it. The guy finally realized he’d been sold back his van with a fake brick of heroin, instead of the real one that had originally been there.

The guy keeps calling Shane. He’s furious.

Somehow, Shane manages to joke about the situation even though he’s fleeing for his life.

Shane didn’t back down.

Who can make literary jokes at a time like this? Shane, apparently.

Shane finished the story, explaining that the guy eventually was found guilty of murder and never went after Shane.

People could not believe this story. It, predictably, went viral.

Some people felt like they were breaking the law by reading the story.

It seems bonkers that this story is real! Is Shane sure this wasn’t all a bizarre dream? According to his tweets, Shane is already signed by a Hollywood agent and they’re making his story into a movie.

Others didn’t think it was a very smart idea for Shane to share the story.

This is a good point.

But Shane stands by his story.

At least he knows himself? Now, the next time you decide to buy a van from the ’70s, make sure to peek under the hood before purchasing. You never know what could be hiding under there. Read Shane’s entire thread here!