We've all had bad dates where no amount of wine or carbs could make things okay unless you were back home, alone, on your couch with wine and carbs.

But witnessing the horrible date of other people you have no connection to is a kind of entertainment that you can't really put a price on, but that you can live-tweet, like Twitter user Kelly Fine recently did.

So without further ado, we present Kelly, Pretentious Moron, and the poor woman stuck with the dude.

He keeps upping the douche ante.

He's a real charmer.

There's not enough wine in Italy.

He told you, NO MENUS.

How did he score a second date?!?

Gross.

Even grosser.

Surprise!

SAVE HER!

Forget the fact that giant clams are listed as a vulnerable species, and have been so for more than 30 years.

Finally, sweet relief.

Just be glad it wasn't you.