Buffets are weird and wonderful places where you usually pay an insane amount of money for an insane amount of food. You don't leave a buffet when you're full, you leave when you hate yourself for eating way too much. It's a marathon of many courses, and you sometimes you end up eating your weight in food.
One woman so selflessly shared some pro-tips about the realities of buffets and how we can out-smart and out-eat ourselves in a whole new way. The goods, the bads, and the messy side of buffets get revealed, with nothing left out.
As you fill your plate and stuff your face the next time you head to a buffet, you'll have this Twitter thread in mind the entire time because its' tips are truly unforgettable. Your mind is surely going to be blown, and your stomach and your wallet will thank you. Hopefully, we'll see these genius tweets on the menu of a buffet, to educate those who come after us.
Loving a buffet comes easy.
You have to go in with a plan.
It's easy to get over-stimulated.
via: ShutterstockThere are so many options, so many choices, so many styles of food that it can feel quite overwhelming.
There's definitely a better way to approach the buffet.
Listen up, ladies and gents.
Kids, I’ve had my way with a lot of buffets in my day and I’m gonna share some knowledge with you. Get ready.— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553472275.0
Get out your pen and paper.
Know your tools.
1. The plates are always smaller and heavier than normal plates. This is intentional. You’re not a pig, that plate… https://t.co/MGSQE7uGYZ— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553472328.0
No shame in your game.
The tongs and spoons are also prepared for war.
Same goes for the serving spoons/tongs. They intentionally make them heavy. Remember, eat with your eyes and also t… https://t.co/kA50QFtxhP— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553472373.0
Your eyes are the window to your stomach.
Do your recon.
2. Before you dive in, do a quick scan of all the offerings. You won’t be sorry!! Often the best stuff is at the en… https://t.co/SMvZ0ZUU4b— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553472462.0
No one wants a plate full of baby carrots.
Don't accept food stereotypes.
3. Do not accept the roles your food has been assigned. Those cherry tomatoes look good but they are near a pile of… https://t.co/PXk25kboUm— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553472550.0
Naive eaters will not thrive.Skip. The. Lettuce. You deserve better! You're already here at the buffet, so really treat yourself. Make that cheese and veggie tray as if Gordon Ramsay was watching you. Get creative! Bacon mac and cheese? That's real art.
You're a buffet hero!
Don't let them fool you.
4. The expensive, big ticket items are laid out in smaller dishes/potions. Don’t worry, there’s more.— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553472767.0
Yes. Yes, there is.
Drain your liquids!
5. IF THIS IS A “PAY BY THE POUND” SITUATION, DRAIN ALL LIQUIDS. REPEAT: DRAIN ALL LIQUIDS. DO NOT PAY ONE CENT FOR LOOSE OLIVE BRINE.— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553472925.0
You have to be smart!
Mayo is a no-no.
6. I’ve eaten wet food off the floor but I would not fuck with mayo based buffet items except for coleslaw. But, hey, your body your choice.— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553473308.0
Be plate savvy.
7. Use as many plates as you need. As many as you need. I’d recommend a hot plate and a cold plate but consider sau… https://t.co/dHje9pZDxn— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553473421.0
Plates are meant to keep you in control.
Like white on rice.
8. Back to the “by the pound” hot bar deals — are you REALLY going to pay for white rice when there’s likely fried… https://t.co/WI8lWdUL5M— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553473528.0
I know, it's a common mistake.
Live your best life.
9. No one is counting how many times you get up. And if they are I hope they can count to number “I’m living life a… https://t.co/w591jB3jF2— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553473634.0
You better work it.
10. Most importantly — YOU TIP 20%. It does not matter that you were the one “bringing the food”. A lot of people w… https://t.co/6qg0qOMD1E— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553473751.0
Tipping is good for the soul.
Pro-tips from other fans.
@ohhijackie Also, from someone who used to work in the food industry: - Use a clean plate every time. It makes no r… https://t.co/ye768EPU2M— Drachenjaeger (@Drachenjaeger)1553542159.0
Maybe lettuce is our friend.
@ohhijackie As someone who grew up in Hong Kong, where buffet-going is a national sport, this is all sound advice e… https://t.co/Sqm4GU5HoK— Kat 💙 (@Kat 💙)1553522287.0
The middle is the safe spot.
@ohhijackie To add: cold foods should be scooped out from the middle, where they are far more likely to still be co… https://t.co/eImcfrhDjS— 🕊 Bird Nerd, M.Ed. 🕊 (@🕊 Bird Nerd, M.Ed. 🕊)1553556848.0
Maybe skip the soda.
@ohhijackie Just want to add that drinking soda at an all you can eat buffet, especially before you’ve started on y… https://t.co/Uxtcis31Y6— Chase Observes (@Chase Observes)1553496255.0
We are eternally grateful.
@ohhijackie @JohnnyMcNulty https://t.co/WSWapY87gK— Melusa#ACAB#BLM (@Melusa#ACAB#BLM)1553474286.0
Jackie is happy to offer help.
@space_case82 The greatest thanks will be DRAINING THE LIQUIDS!— Jackie Jennings (@Jackie Jennings)1553474031.0