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There's really nothing like seeing your newborn baby for the first time. It's a pretty amazing experience.

But there's also nothing like seeing your newborn baby for the first time when that baby is CLEARY, not yours. It's awkward.

Take it from these 29 people who've been there and are sharing every cringe-worthy detail.

You may or may not be visiting 23andme.com immediately after reading this so yeah, just FYI.

Well, that's that.

Worked in the army hospital on ft Lewis. A woman came in for belly pain, and we found out and told her she was 10 weeks pregnant. The husband at the bedside started laughing, grabbed his coat and left the room explaining to us that he had been in Afghanistan until 3 weeks prior. He looked back and her and just said: “Well that’s that Brittany." I always liked how classily he left her while she just silently stared off into space. -Mjrfrankburns

This guy got some harsh news, x3.

I had a vasectomy. While chatting with the doctor, he told me about another patient. This guy had three kids and came in for the snip-snip because he and his wife decided they were done having children. The doc opened up his sack and found nothing to snip. This guy was born without the ability to have any children. The poor doctor had to explain to him what happened. Imagine finding that out that way. -timmg

This dad-to-be came to a realization early on.

I used to work in the newborn nursery at a hospital. We got the babies right from delivery, cleaned them up, footprinted them, checked vitals, etc. Dads usually came in with the newborns. This dad comes in with this baby. Dad is white; mom is white, baby is very obviously not white. The dad was very quiet standing next to this baby, watching us clean it up. He says quietly, "I don't think this is my baby." You could tell he was absolutely devastated. We advised him not to sign the birth certificate until he was sure. Not sure what happened after we sent the baby back out to mom, but I felt awful for the guy. -rootberryfloat

This lady oughta practice what she preaches.

One of my favorite cousins just did 23andme with her dad and discovered that they were not biologically related at all. This is especially horrible because my aunt (her mother) is one of the most ridiculously zealous and judgmental people I have ever met. She screams at the baby cousins when they don't behave perfectly, she literally threw a pocket Bible at a woman in a grocery store after the woman was on the phone and said "shit" or something, and she likes to send me unsolicited long letters about "God's plan" for my life. Surprisingly, her husband is the most fun and laid-back person I've ever met. He did not deserve this or her. -toss_my_potatoes

This guy managed to stumble across a shocking discovery.

A friend and his GF were on again/off again, and she got pregnant. She swears it’s his, he wants a paternity test. He moves in with her and her Mom; she has the baby, takes the test. The test is taking a while to come back, he and his family are over the moon with the baby, kinda forget about it. Mentions it to GFs Mom one day and she says “oh yeah, she didn’t tell you? Came back a while ago, totally your baby!" Awesome, all is well! A few months later they’re moving out, and he finds the test in a box, not his baby ? ETA ~ He left, tried to stay in the babies life, but she wouldn’t let him. -LeafsChick This guy could have never found out the truth had she thrown the results away. And this next guy also could have never learned the truth, had a nurse not kept it real...

This nurse may have said too much...

My grandmother was a nurse. Once she was assisting with delivering a baby, and the ostensible father commented that the child looked good for a premature baby. Without thinking my grandmother told the truth. "That baby is not premature." So I guess I know where I get my social obliviousness from. -tornado28

Hey, I'm happy for them.

A friend of mine and her husband use to have a lot of three-ways. She was on birth control but still ended up pregnant anyway. They had no clue who the dad was but we all knew if the baby came out white, it was probably his, if it came out mixed, it was someone else's baby. Her husband is really weird but I have to give him credit for being committed to their lifestyle and amazing in his own weird ways. He even started an organized wager on if the baby would be mixed or white, and he bet against him self. Their daughter was born white. He was strangely disappointed but happy to be a dad. Weirdest part is that they really don't know if the baby is his for sure, they did have a fling with a white male. But they don't care to find out for sure though because they are happy. - momjeans111

"Something here is amiss..."

My brother-in-law's brother had a two-year-old son (blonde hair blue eyes) with his high school sweet heart and they found out they were pregnant with twins. (They are both super white) Well at the delivery, the whole family is there and welp... the twins come out "covered in black hair, dark brown eyes." The "father" left the room and the rest of family was speechless. He took space for a while, but went back to her and reluctantly raised them (does not really treat them like his own). Found out the biological father was actually in prison at the time of birth, and has nothing to do with the twins.

"Anyhow, to change the subject..."

Met someone at a party. It came up that this person’s father had a particular genetic condition which meant that any child would either develop the condition, or be a carrier. (That’s it, those are the only two options if your parent has this particular condition). I suggested this person have genetic testing. Their reply? “Oh, I already have, and I’m clear! Not even a carrier!" No one had explained the implications of an entirely negative test... And no, I didn’t either. - Aap1966

Maybe dodged a dad-bullet there, because that is not a cute nickname.

Friend of mine got a girl pregnant in high school. She was known to be a little, uh, wild. She has the baby, and it didn't look like him at all, and doesn't look like the mom either. Nobody says anything. One day I'm working with a guy and he said "Oh I know her, I thought that kid was going to be mine." He looks at a picture of the kid and says, "That's totally Julian's." (My friend's name is not Julian.) I said, "How do you know?" and he pulls up this guy's Facebook and I pull up my friend's Facebook where he has pictures of his daughter. We look at them side by side. She is the spitting image of this Julian guy. He says, "Yeah, they hung out a lot while she was dating your friend. She stopped hanging out with Julian because he nicknamed her Thunder Thighs." - IAmWarbot

"Hey buddy, lend me a hand here."

My mom is a midwife. She once had a lady who didn’t want the husband to know it wasn’t his. She even asked the doctors/nurses to pretend the baby came four weeks early to cover it. - chalzgod

"I'm afraid I disagree."

A middle-aged Latino woman came into the er for abdominal pain. We did a few tests and went back into to talk to the couple about the results. "You're pregnant! And about eight months along." She was not happy and adamant there was no way she could be pregnant. The husband was also unhappy and adamant she couldn't be pregnant. You see, he's been in Mexico the last 9 months... They went home arguing with us there was no way she was pregnant. - bomberchick

That baby is a net, and this guy got snagged.

I witnessed my cousin pin a baby on a guy who was not very intelligent. She and this guy were on and off through high school (she went to him while she was in between guys). Then, when she was in her 20s, she lived with roommates (guys), wound up pregnant, and messaged the guy (who had been in basic training for some time). He believed her, they got married and we all did the math. Not only was the timing of the pregnancy not right, but tracing back to when the baby would have been conceived, she had posted pictures of herself drunk at a party that night. He was the only one unable to figure it out and I felt so bad. Eventually his family figured it out and told him. They had marital issues following this, decided a 2nd kid would help the relationship. They are now divorced and she lives with her parents with two kids. God I hate that side of my family. - musntbeconsumed

Au revoir.

I'm a Pediatric surgeon and around two years ago, I was doing a follow-up with this baby. The baby was all right which pleased both the parents. The father then asked for the blood type of the baby and I told him that it was B-. The father looks up at me in amazement and said that it was impossible since he and his wife were both A+. I thought I messed up the labs and re-checked. I did that around 3 times and got B-. The father looked at his wife and walked out. He never came back. - kevincmeyers

This one almost makes all the other horror stories worth it.

My cousin met a girl in rehab. Started dating, she relapsed but was pregnant. Had the child, obviously wasn't his. Signed that it was anyways. 7 years later he hasn't had a drink since then and has had sole custody for 6 years. Loves her and is the best dad. She changed his life. - Me0Be0

Quick thinking!

This baby was a preemie, and the peds nursing team took it to the warmer immediately. The dad was immediately concerned and confused because that kid wasn't even on the same color pallet as him. The mom grabbed him and said, "It's okay baby, that's how they look sometimes when they're early. Probably gonna be like that for life!" True story. What's unbelievable to me is the guy bought it. - OriontheHunter5

Sneaky...

I've had a patient in early labor holding the hand of her husband on one side, and sneakily the hand of her husband's best friend in her other. Nurse told me when I left the room the patient had confided in her that the baby was actually the best friend's, and due to some complications and stress, the husband was totally overlooking the fact that his buddy was so invested. - OriontheHunter5

Just keep your mouth shut, ultrasound techs!

I am an ultrasound tech. There have been a few times when I'm scanning and I tell the patient how far a long they are and the room go silent. Very awkward. Luckily I haven't had any fights in my room over them. - Chinchillasquad14

Close call!

As a nursing student on a labor and delivery floor, we bought the family back from the c-section and when the fathers side left the room, the mother shot up in bed so quick then frantically asked, “you saw the baby right?!? It looks like father right?!?!" Family affirmed her. - stockholm27

How did the dad know?

My cousin knocked up his girlfriend and moved in together. Baby was born just fine but his father told him: "that is not your child". He unfriended his father for saying such a thing. Two years later, she found out she cheated on him and they broke up. He kept visiting his son for 3 more years until his new wife, told him: "that is not your child, I feel it". He made a paternity test and found out that this 5 year old kid was not his. He told me: "I feel like my son died today, I've never felt this pain before, not even when my mother died." - Black_Wolves

Here's hoping.

I was a medical student rotating on my OB rotation when my wife was pregnant. She went into labor and I brought her to the same hospital where I was doing my rotation. All of the residents and attending physicians taking care of her were the people I worked with every day. When my son came out, they cleaned him up and handed him to my wife, with me standing there full of emotion, and then my wife turns to me, and in front of all of my colleagues, says “And just think, he’s probably yours." - purpleddit

And everything worked out for everyone forever.

This happy couple. Both of them blond, blue-eyed, happy people. Like most of it. They seem like the most All-American couple possible. The wife is pregnant. They tell the news and tell their good friend, who is a black guy. They have the baby. It's black. The wife said "I didn't want to tell you me and him were having an affair..." The husband looked, and said to his best friend, "You cheated on me with my wife?" All things considered, everything seemed to go happily for it: They realized that their friend was bisexual and cheating with both of them at the same time. They had a laugh, and at last check all three of them seem to be pretty happy when I see them around. - throwaway48u48282819

Let's do the math.

A doctor told me a story about a young teenager (around 16) who had come in pregnant the week before and brought along her "boyfriend." The boyfriend was pale as a ghost because the "girlfriend" was roughly eight months pregnant and he never knew. Then, the doctor finds out that the baby can't be this kid's because he only started dating the girl about two months before and only had sex around then for the first time. Apparently she told him, "You where my first so I guess our sexual potency has made this pregnancy go quicker than it normally does. God works in wondrous ways." I asked the Doc what did he say, he reckons he looked at the young guy and said "you know there has never been a recorded case of immaculate conception ever, there is usually another reason behind a "surprise pregnancy" and maybe he needs to read up about the gestation period of humans". - Slothmano

Does he have to get the kid double the presents?

My husband told me a story about how someone in his company had a baby with his wife's sister and they were fine with it. Apparently before the couple got married the husband was sleeping with the bride to be's sister and the bride didn't care. Now the guy's an Uncle-Dad and I can't imagine how awkward that has to be at family gatherings. - Kanra2425

"How can you have done this to me?"

White couple, the baby was black. The mom of the baby started accusing the father of cheating and said that it was the only possible explanation for this. And she looked towards my colleague as she said this to confirm. - Hoptoitmofo

"No matter what happens, we're still gonna open our brewery together. That is a really good idea for a business."

When I worked in OB a teen mom brought all three potential fathers with her. Two guys walked out looking pretty relieved. - raka_defocus

Whenever they hear that chime, they cross their fingers.

My wife is a nurse, she worked in the labor/delivery area about 20 years ago. In her hospital, I’m sure it's common, when a baby is born a sound went off throughout the entire hospital. Some kind of chime, or bell and all the women go “aaaawwwww." She said on very rare occasions you will hear that chime and within 5-10 minutes after you here over the intercom a call for a code yellow (or whatever color it is) in Labor and Delivery. That means a fight is occurring or some type of physical rampage and for any well built male to come help with the situation. - dr_internet_doctor

Take that secret to the grave.

When I was an intern four years ago in a small clinic in my home city, I delivered a baby. Here in Colombia, everyone's mixed, so quite hard to tell depending from the race and such. What was interesting about this baby was that his blood type was A+, both parents where O+. Don't know what happened after, but I do clearly remember that my teacher told me "not a word, kid" - g4bkun

Heartbreaking.

I’m with this girl. She was literally the love of my life. She told me she was pregnant after a few months of us dating. I’m super excited because I’ve always wanted to be a dad and, well, I loved this girl to pieces. Months go by everything’s great and one night after some late night fun she starts going into labor. I get super worried because we’ve only been dating for six or seven months at this point, so I thought she was having my kid super early. We rush to the hospital and they put us in some special room and get all ready to deliver this premature baby. 27 hours of labor later, out pops a perfectly healthy, right-on-time kid. (Got DNA tests — definitely not my kid.) This was literally the worst thing I’ve ever gone through. I’ll always remember the nurse that said after that the baby looked just like me. - paladinboy12

"How did I get caught up in this?!"

My mom's husband thought my mom was cheating when she had my little brother so he got DNA tests. Well, my brother was his but I wasn't. Thanks mom. - Barstarzztrucker

Are they getting commission for every father signature?

I was present for the birth of my friend’s daughter. We were the only two at the hospital for L&D. She didn’t know who the father of the baby was so she left it blank on the paperwork. Needless to say the hospital staff tried hounding me to put my name down because they all thought I was the father and I was ditching. I was having none of that shit. I was there for support only. Needless to say she ended up marrying my brother a few years later and they had two kids together. - d1g1t4ld00m

"All right I'm gonna head out."

A friend of mine is an OB nurse. She had a black couple in the delivery room and the woman’s sister was also there. The baby came out and her sister goes "YO BABY WHITE" and walks out. Not sure how everything else went, but the sister’s reaction is gold. - PreggyOBgyn

Sometimes, you just need an excuse.

I have a cousin who fell head over heels in love with this girl. She got pregnant, baby came; healthy and beautiful baby boy! But because of governing laws in our community, for the baby to become a member; a DNA test had to be done to make sure the baby has familial ties. Tests come back, baby is less then a 1% chance his. Her brilliant excuses? “Oh, it’s because we smoked a joint right before we went in!" He either wanted to believe her so bad he just accepted that or... he’s been smoking weed a little too long and bought it. Either way, he’s raising that child as his own and had one more child with her before they went their separate ways. He is an amazing dad to both those boys though, and I love him for it! - Theresa92

Probably forgot to set a timer on their phone.

Many years ago, a coworker had a baby with her boyfriend. They were both very light-skinned latinos. The baby came out very very dark... exactly like her ex-boyfriend. When questioned, she told everyone it was the hospital's fault. She said the baby had been left in the incubator too long and had browned. - [account deleted]

"I was, uh, otherwise occupied."

I work in child welfare, and let me tell you, this happens all the freaking time. I had a case where the mother became pregnant while the “alleged" father was in jail and still claimed that he was the father. - uber_cast

Someone give him the heads up.

I have a cousin who is blind, and it's obvious he's not his father's biological son because he looks nothing like him and looks a lot like his mother's ex boyfriend. His mom has even admitted to the fact that he's not his father's child but has never told him. He has no clue because he's blind. - gsalaza

This co-worker didn't get the memo.

I used to work with a guy whose wife was pregnant. Near time for delivery, everyone at our place of business had a big party with gifts, money, etc. So big day comes, water breaks, they get in the car to go to the hospital. She breaks the news on the way there it’s not his, the kid is another race, and if he could just drop her off at the hospital and then leave, that would be great. He took a few days off work, found a new apartment, moved out, filed divorce, etc. he called into work and told someone what happened, news spread pretty fast. All congratulations cards were cleaned up and thrown away. Everyone was very sensitive to his pain. Except, somehow, I don’t know how I did not get the news. So on his first day back, I walked into the office he shared with 6-7 other guys and said “Hey hey, Daddio, how’s fatherhood so far? Getting any sleep? Got some pictures? Let’s see the little tike!" He slowly lifted his head to look at me with a painful look. The room was dead silent. One of his workmates stood up, grabbed my arm and walked me out of the room, shushing me. “What happened, “ I asked, “Did it die? What’s the problem?" When he told me I about died myself. I still feel bad for the dude, and it’s been 30 years. -BlueGillMan

Here's a pretty clear case for ya.

Had a lesbian couple come in. One of them was pregnant, neither knew. Judging from all the screaming, this information was poorly received. -PrimateOnAPlanet

This disappointed dad-to-be straight booked it.

My best friend was dating a girl and knocked her up. They got engaged and planned to get married right after the baby was born. There were about 10 of us in the waiting room waiting for her to crank out the baby. It was her parents (his were in another state), some of her friends, and some of ours. After sitting there for about 2 hours, he walks out with a smirk on his face and says "let's go," we all thought something horrible had happened. Her friends ask how the baby is, and he said, "Fine, but black." In the parking garage he tells us to follow him to his apartment, then sends me a text asking if I could put him up for a while. We literally moved him out of his apartment and into my spare bedroom in like an hour. Her parents didn't know who to be mad at. The confusion on their faces when he told them the baby was black was priceless. -Goyteamsix

This next guy deserves a fricken award for stepping up to the plate.

Nurse here. Once had a couple come in, just them. The father was black, and the mother was white. The father was so involved, so ecstatic about him becoming a father for the second time with this woman. Nothing really seemed off, until she started pushing. The baby girl came out completely white, blonde hair and blue eyes. Usually, black babies come out a little pale, but this was just straight out white. We had to escort the father out for fear of him becoming violent, but he just sat outside the room, on the ground with his face in his hands. That was one of the saddest moments I think I've ever seen with a father, besides stillbirth. Odd thing after though, the mom didn't want the baby and wanted nothing to do with the "father," probably out of guilt. So she left the responsibility of this baby and their other 2-year-old boy to this man who didn't even question taking on this child. -Idkjill While this man's decision is certainly admirable, the de-bunked dad in this next one is having none of it.

This guy walked away with all the dignity he had left, and never looked back.

Had a college buddy whose fiancée was pregnant. They were the "perfect couple," both had just over a year with great careers starting out, everything was butterflies and rainbows. Fast forward to the delivery room, they're in there and out comes a very black baby. He's quite the pale redhead, and she's a blonde/blue eyes Texas girl. He made sure everyone was ok, waited for her parents to arrive, and left without saying a word. He moved all his stuff out of the house while she was in the hospital, and cut off all communications with her, just walked out of their lives in the most stone-cold act I'd ever seen. They were together for nine years, and he just left cold turkey. She tried to contact him at his job a few times, but he quickly moved up the ladder and eventually got a job in another city. He told me once that he took solace in the fact that her family had already dropped about $10k in a wedding that never happened. -tacoscholar

This two-timing prego was betting the house to the bitter end.

My brother was doing his OBGYN rotation. His story is that in the first birth he assisted the woman had her husband leave the room. Seems odd these days but he had the husband step out for the comfort of the patient. The baby is delivered, and the color was not even close. Lily white parents and very black baby. She wants him to stay to talk to her husband who is about to come back, and he bails on the whole situation. She was playing the odds all the way to the end. -inkseep1

De-Nial ain't just a river in Egypt.

My Uncle and his first wife were supposedly having a baby. Keep in mind both are white. Delivery day arrived and low and behold the baby was definitely not white. My family, of course, knew that she must have cheated on him, but my Uncle was so happy and couldn't imagine being cheated on that they sort of just pretended the baby was his. I thought it was dumb to pretend the baby was his but I was glad that at least the child was getting a semi-normal upbringing. That is until around two years later when his wife divorced him and called us all up for being so stupid not to realize the baby belonged to another dude. She ran back to her other man, and we haven't heard from them since. -Creppernicus

And this guy realized the difference between being a father and being a dad.

I gotta give my friend credit for doing something I don't think I could ever do. Found out after being married and having a 3 and 1-year-old, that his wife had been cheating on him. Multiple times, with multiple men. (Everyone is white though so no obvious signs). Anyway, when he finds that there is the chance neither of the kids is his, he buys two paternity tests. He brought them home, but then the horrible conclusion hit him. He was prepared if they were his. He was prepared if they weren't. He had NO fucking idea what he would do if one was and one wasn't. So he threw tests away. They divorced, she keeps seeing people for short times, and he is now remarried to a fantastic person. -KMApok

And sometimes it's all out in the open.

My sister got pregnant in high school, and later met her now husband when she was 5 months pregnant. She is white, and the boyfriend is black. The baby daddy was white and not present. I was with our entire family, including my now brother in law, visiting the baby. My sister was still in recovery from her C-section. Brother in law picks up my niece, the nurse looks at him and says "she should darken up in a few days." We all had a laugh. We knew he wasn't the father, but she didn't. I always wondered if she felt bad/assumed adultery. They have two more girls together, and he was able to adopt three years later. -MetalPixie311 This nurse tried to ease any possible tension, but this next lab technician was not quite so smooth.

This lab technician sure said a mouthful.

My mother used to work in a medical lab many decades ago. One day, another woman who worked in the building was visiting the lab, and during the conversation, mentioned that she was blood type X, her husband was type Y, and their child was type Z (I don’t remember the specific types). One of the younger lab techs blurted out “that’s impossible," and the doctor in the lab just stared daggers at him. Luckily, the visitor either didn’t notice or didn’t care, and moved along shortly after. My mom still remembers it as one of the most awkward moments she’d ever been privy to. -fuzzus628

And in some cases, the exception proves the rule.

 My brother told me this story about a man he used to work with. Brother's work friend is from an eastern European country and came to the USA many, many moons ago and started his family here. One of his sons meets a nice girl, they plan to get married, but life happens, and then more life ends up coming out of them. The whole big family is excited about the new baby; father-to-be is absolutely ecstatic, they have a small ceremony before the baby is born, yadda yadda. Delivery time comes and out pops this little boy who is about 50 shades darker than either parent, and new dad absolutely loses his shit. In his heartbroken rage, he accuses his new bride of cheating on him, disowns said child and rages right out of the delivery room, leaving new mom all alone with her mountain of shame. This guy returns to his family and continues his hate-filled rampage and exclaims to his family that his whore of a wife had cheated on him because the baby looked nothing like him in skin tone. The family is shocked, never would have believed this sweet young thing would do that to their son, absolute shame and misery all around. Well, sitting in a dark little corner of the room, little tiny grandma chirps up and has a story to tell. Apparently, back in her glory days, during some war or another, she had a great summer with a French soldier. A black french soldier. She got knocked up, and he got sent home, and back then you kept the baby and hoped your family didn't murder you before you could abandon it somewhere. She ended up meeting her husband shortly after getting knocked up and things just progressed as if it was his child and wouldn't you know, the little thing popped out white as snow and she breathed a sigh of relief because this was going to be the easiest lie to keep ever. So this poor bastard has been carrying around this super melanin gene his whole life and knocked up his wife and it decided to all come out on his sweet little boy who he now has to go crawling back and reclaim. Thankfully, the whole family went with him to the hospital, old grandma had a picture of her old fella as proof and husband and wife were reunited. -HumsWhileHePeees

And I thought my relationship with my neighbors was awkward.

I know a girl who was pregnant with her boyfriend's best friend's baby. He found out there was a possibility about a week before she gave birth. I went up to see her once he was born and he looked just like the friend; there was no question. I broke the news to her boyfriend, and he was absolutely devastated. His parents were heartbroken and super pissed. They had bought the girl everything she needed, including a $500 car seat/stroller set. She refused to give anything back. She started up a relationship with the friend immediately after having their child, and they're still together a decade later. But the kicker for me has always been that the boyfriend and best friend were next door neighbors. She moved into his house after coming home from the hospital. So her ex-boyfriend and his family had to see them basically every day raising this child that they had believed to be his for the entire pregnancy. I can't even imagine.  Yes, they did a DNA test right after he was born. The baby was the friends. -maybebatshit

Nurses save lives every day- This one certainly helped this guy dodge a bullet.

My (ex)girlfriend delivered a baby while I was in the delivery room, and turns out it wasn't mine. She was 16; I was 15. All along I was under the impression that this kid was mine, and time to be an adult. Took all the classes, read the books, worked every night/weekend to save whatever money I could as a 15-year-old. I finally get the call she is in labor, so I have somebody rush me to the ER. Luckily for her, it wasn't a long labor, only about 6 hours, but there was a complication. The baby came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck. The doctor assured us it was going to be OK, but the nurses were prepping for things to go south. Baby comes out, it's a light shade of purple, and the nurses immediately take the baby and put on the smallest mask you have ever seen, to help it get oxygen I guess. I was too panicked to ask a lot of questions. They state they need to keep the baby on watch overnight, so I stay in the room with the ex. The next evening, the baby is back in the room with us, and all seems well. The Ex is asleep, and the same nurse from the night before comes into the room and beckons me out. She states that at risk of her losing her job, she has to break some harsh news to me, that kid is not mine. She stated that while at this stage it wasn't obvious, over the next few weeks it would become clear this kid was mixed, and since both of us were white, it was a high probability that it wasn't mine. Queue a mixed bag of emotions, and me promptly waking the ex to get a little clarification. Come to find out, she knew the chances and was just hoping it was mine because it worked better for her. Apparently, her father was an old-school racist, and she didn't want to have to deal with that. I left the hospital to collect my thoughts, and a few weeks later was served with child support papers. One DNA test and about 6 weeks later, I am 0.0% that kids father. Wherever that nurse is now, I hope your life is amazing. I understand that you were not supposed to get involved in the personal side of things and keep it professional, but you saved me a lot of additional headaches. -Nope_Thats_Not_Me

This mom made sure to protect her little secret...

Happened to me at the hospital once. I was an intern (what you have to do after finishing your medical degree) and checked the mother, father and babies blood type (among other things), handing the results to the nurse and tell her to get them done again, pointing out the lab should pay some more attention this time.

Nurse and patient are confused, so I explain to them how blood groups work and how the result has to be wrong.

The patient asks me if I am under the medical oath (meaning I can't tell her husband or others, using specific names). I answered that I am not allowed talking about her medical record with anyone.

She just nods and says the blood test is most likely correct, but I am not allowed to tell the father, or actually her husband (since science says he isn't the biological father).

Kinda scared me a bit how easy she said that. Made me wonder how many people fathers are out there not knowing about their children.

-Puggymon  This next guy is willing to play daddy, but husband? Not so much.

This guy managed to make lemonade. AND stay out of jail.

Ex was pregnant with our 1st child.

So happy.

In the delivery room and the baby comes.

Bright red she was.

I’m black.

She’s white.

13 yrs later, I’m still involved and she still only knows me as daddy. Haven’t spoken to the mother since 09/05. I don’t feel like going to jail so that relationship is fine the way is it.

-younggohan81 

We can see why this 'dad' may have bailed early, but this mom really needed to stick around.

A friend of mine was looking after a Caucasian couple in the labor ward. Things were progressing well and she started pushing. Pushing, pushing, hair visible, head continues to advance and it is quite clear that this child is black.

The dad stands up wide-eyed, points at the woman, shouts "You fucking slag!" And storms out of the room.

The woman in sheer panic hops straight off the bed trying to chase down her significant other...with the baby's head just sitting there between her legs.

My friend is trying to wrangle the woman back on the bed so she can deliver the body; woman uncontrollably sobbing.

I imagine the guy didn't stick around to raise the little one, based on his reaction!

-LDNinLA 

You can't really blame this guy for snooping.

 I experienced something like this in my early 20's. We had a house picked out, family and friends were sending us gifts and cards. I was along for all of the doctor visits, and ultrasounds, and checkups, and everything. This was my kid, we were in love, I had no question.

Then one day I saw a very suspicious message pop up on her phone... and (against all of my normal behavior) I looked at it.

It was from a guy she had cheated on me with. After a paternity test that they both paid for, we learned the truth and it wasn't my kid.

I immediately cut all ties, and haven't maintained any contact.

My life is so much more fruitful and wonderful, and I've cherished my independence in ways I simply couldn't before. It was a major happy ending, but boy am I glad I looked at that phone.

-Snappy_Retort 

This 'dad' wanted to speak with the manager- STAT.

I was in the waiting room once at a small hospital in Vermont...

One father came out talking on the phone, demanding to talk to a manager...

I only heard one side of the conversation, but apparently, they had gone to a sperm clinic and had been given a (his words) "Brown man's baby".

-GonzoMojo 

This guy may not have been raised by his 'biological' father,' but he still had one hell of a dad.

Oh boy, I'm the illegitimate baby in this one!

So apparently my mom and "dad" were on a break, so she had a one-night-stand with a dude she JUST met at a party. Later she tells my "dad" that she's pregnant with his kid, so they get back together so he can support her.

I was born pretty dark because my bio dad was very very Native American. The nurses made comments about me being a dark baby but I guess "dad" attributed it to the bit of Native in my mom, even though she's very pale skinned.

Anyway, this being Oklahoma, of course, my "dad" marries her to do the right thing. I was adopted by him after the wedding at about ten months old.

A month later my brother was born (definitely my dad's kid) and not long after that they had a fight and she drops the revelation on him that I wasn't his.

No idea why it wasn't more obvious or if he was just in denial. Both my "brothers" are red-headed, light eyed, and pale skinned with freckles. I popped out the womb with dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes, no freckles. Even the nurses were like "What a cute Indian (Native American) baby!"

BUT during the divorce (when he had known the truth for a few years) he fought for me, along with my brothers, and eventually got custody of all of us.

He planned on never telling me but eventually, my mom's loud-mouth, complete piece of shit sister decided to let me know during an argument to be petty.

That was probably the first time I really saw my Dad cry.

He's had periods of not being the best dad, but overall I ended up getting all my most defining traits from him. His commitment to a decision, his maniac work ethic which was how he showed love, and his strength to keep moving forward despite constantly getting FUCKED by any woman he trusts.

I think he's done looking for love. It makes me sad because he really deserves it. Maybe if my mom had been a better person he would have had a chance at that. He did get remarried but the only thing worse than a shitty mom is an evil, narcissistic stepmother.

-RikaBaF27  Think you've heard it all? Nope. This next guy got hit with a double whammy when he found out that he wasn't a dad after all ... or a grandpa.

This guy thought he was about to become a grandfather... turns out, he's not even a father.

Happened to my fiancé's mom who is a labor and delivery nurse.

One time she had a patient whose parents were present during her stay at the hospital. The staff there have a whiteboard with some general information about the patients like blood type, time spent in the wing, and like how far along.

This information is nameless for HIPAA reasons and instead has a patients number. So this patient happened to be the only one in the wing at the time.

Her father was walking back from the cafeteria at one point, and noticed the board. He stopped one of the nurses and asked if the blood type for the patient on the board was correct (he knew his daughter was the only patient there). It was B+. The nurse confirmed it was correct.

Turns out he knew his and his wife's blood type. He was O+ and his wife was A-. This combination will never yield a B+ baby.

He brings his wife out and just points at the board and a look of shock just washes over her.

-ljb423 

"When dat baby going to pink up?"

I was doing epidurals in residency. This Caucasian couple was a more rural part of the country and they don't look or sound particularly educated.

Anyhow, the wife is particularly antsy. Asking when she can go home, even though the baby isn't out yet. The husband looks bored and uninterested like he's been there a whole bunch of times.

I usually don't stay in the rooms during delivery, but this one I just happened to be nearby to give more in the epidural because of a tear immediately after delivery.

Anyhow, when I get to the room, the wife is holding her eyes shut and doesn't want to see the baby. I look at the baby and he's obviously black.

Now the husband is paying attention, and he sees what I do.

He keeps repeating, "When dat baby gonna pink up?" Louder and louder.

The ob tries to diffuse things by reminding everyone that this moment is critical and suggests the baby should be taken to the resuscitation area in the NICU and that the father should step out while the ob repaired the laceration.

We called the social worker and security and I was called elsewhere, so I don't know what happened afterward, so I can't imagine it was good.

drleeisinsurgery

This family had A LOT to process after paying a visit to the hospital.

Not in the medical field, just married into an odd family.

About 15yrs ago, my SO baby brother got really sick, was in and out of hospitals and seeing a bunch of doctors. He’s admitted yet again FIL calls and asks all the siblings to come just in case.

We are the last to arrive, we get there and everyone is silent, obviously been crying. We both think oh shit he died, SO starts to tear up and his dad comes striding towards us tears still tuning down his face and says let’s step outside.

He says baby brother is fine but there is something I have to tell you. Turns out FIL isn’t really baby brothers dad, nor is he really the [biological] dad to 3 other of SO siblings.

The hospital wanted to run some tests on FIL and step-MIL to rule out something, I don’t remember what, and they had to come clean. The siblings were 25, 26, 27, and 28 so it kinda fucked em up for a bit.

-EzzzzzzzE

This mom shouldn't be counting her chickens before they're hatched.

I worked as a lab tech before I became a nurse. We had a set of twins in the NICU that were super early and the mom was still in the OR getting sewed up from the cesarean. I was drawing Baby B’s blood when mom was wheeled over to Baby A’s isolette.

She was crying and said, “Oh thank god you’re not black! I have been so worried for the last 7 months."

So newborn babies, especially when they’re born early, are very pink, almost red. So even if a baby was part-black, their skin isn’t necessarily dark yet.

But looking at these babies, it was obvious they were going to be black. The shape of the face, the texture of the hair, and Baby B that I was working on had an intense Mongolian spot.

A few weeks later, my NICU nurse friend told me that the babies were now on a “no-info status" meaning security alert, can’t give anyone information about them, can’t refer to them by name, etc.

She said there was a huge fight because the mom’s husband (white guy) obviously noticed that the babies were half black and that mom had cheated on him and got pregnant.

The real dad (black guy) came in and didn’t realize the mom was even married.

Those poor babies ☹️

-fitnurse6 

After reading these, you may want to pay a little visit to 23andme.com.

I mean, you shouldn't be worried, but maybe just a little curious. These stories are so rare, after all. But they do happen. And it's not always as blatantly apparent as it was in these cases. You may want to go with the DNA kit stocking stuffers for Christmas this year. Just a suggestion. Don't forget to share this with your family members- They may have something they've been meaning to tell you!

Fatherhood is no joke but, in order to survive it, you do have to keep a sense of humor. And dads, God love 'em, are normally known for their corny sense of humor.

But this guy here? He doesn't mess around and sugarcoat things. He's hilariously honest about being a dad, and thank goodness, he tweeted it out. If you ask me, he's vying for "Dad of the Year."