Trump’s State of the Union Tickets Were Misspelled. That Bodes Well.

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My fiancé’s favorite Simpsons joke is from the “Itchy and Scratchy Land” episode when the helicopter pilot is taking the Simpsons to the park and he says, “Nothing can possib-lie go wrong. Uh, possibly go wrong. Huh. That’s the first thing that’s ever gone wrong.”

Anyway, don’t know why I was thinking of that particular joke — oh wait, yes I do. Donald Trump’s State of the Union address hasn’t even happened yet and all the things that can possib-lie go wrong are already going wrong.

The speech is happening tonight, January 30, at 9 p.m. EST. And if the speech is anything like the tickets distributed for it, it promises to be a hot mess.

If you were actually looking forward to a “State of the Uniom,” well, you’d be in luck. But nobody is looking forward to that. Because a “Uniom” is not a thing.

Republicans decided to recall the tickets and reissue ones with the correct spelling, but c’mon guys! It’s too late for all that. Why not save the paper? Everyone already knows you messed up.

If I’m being completely honest, I’d rather see a State of the Uniom address. I know the State of the Union is bad, but the State of the Uniom? I have no idea what condition the Uniom is in!

Obviously, this minor mistake has been covered mercilessly by a mocking media. But who should we actually aim our vitriol toward? We know Donald Trump is to blame for the state of the union. But who is at fault for the “State of the Uniom”? Who actually made the fatal typo?

According to Politico, it’s the sergeant-at-arms who is responsible for printing the tickets to the event. Wikipedia says that it is the job of a sergeant-at-arms to “keep order.” Oops!!!!!

Just for kicks, people should wander around outside the State of the Union auditorium asking ushers where the “State of the Uniom” is taking place. “I know this is the State of the Union, but I’m looking for the State of the Uniom. It says so right here on my ticket!”

When Obama was in office, it was a week-long scandal if he chewed gum or wore a tan suit. Now that Donald Trump’s in office, porn star adultery and 19 accusations of sexual assault barely register. Seems like we got a real double-standard going on here.

The word “union” being misspelled on the ticket to Donald Trump’s speech says it all. Maybe it was an honest mistake; maybe it was a Freudian slip. “United” is certainly one thing we have not been since Donald Trump took office.

People keep saying this is a chance for Trump to “act presidential,” as if he hasn’t had a billion chances to do just that and failed at every single one in the last year. Call me crazy for not being hopeful that Donald Trump will somehow turn his entire presidency around with one speech. But Donald Trump on live TV? That promises to be a sight to behold. As you know, the man’s a well-oiled machine who loves to prepare. What could possib-lie go wrong?