Turns out Woody Allen’s New Film Is All About His Own Creepy Sex Fantasies

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And the icks just keep coming.

Oscar winner Woody Allen has a new movie coming out called A Rainy Day In New York. It’s a very Allen-ish movie. Stills already show varied actors and actress in varied trenchcoats. The actresses are all young and ingenue-ish, the actors (with one notable exception) are old and nebbishy (as actors tend to be depicted in Allen films, regardless of their actual level of hotness).

There’s also one other obvious Allen-ism. You’ll never guess what it is…

While the movie’s plot has not been divulged yet, one thing is clear, there’s going to be an icky, icky exploration of “love” between a 44-year-old man, played by Jude Law, and a 15-year-old girl, played by Elle Fanning, who, for some reason is referred to as his “concubine.”

Miss us with that, seriously. Hard pass on the notion that a teenager can consent to a relationship with an adult nearly twice her age, or worse, that it can be romantic. There’s a word for adults like that – it’s pedophiles.

Remember when he left Mia Farrow for her adopted daughter Soon-Yi, with whom he had started a relationship when he and Farrow were still together? Yeah.

“I’m 35 years older, and somehow, through no fault of mine or hers, the dynamic worked,” Allen told NPR. “I was paternal. She responded to someone who was paternal.” “She deferred to me, and I was happy to give her an enormous amount of decision-making just as a gift and let her take charge of so many things. She flourished. It was just a good luck thing.” Excuse us while we gag.

The details are repugnant and damning. Even more so are the actions Allen took afterwards: He attempted a smear campaign of Mia Farrow, saying she forced Dylan to speak out against him in revenge for his marriage to Soon-Yi. Also, after his own biological son Ronan Farrow wrote an article condemning him in The Hollywood Reporter, he had the publication banned from his event at the Cannes Film Festival.

Twitter user @Dave_Horwitz, for instance, posted a thread wondering about the amount of complicity it takes to make a Woody Allen movie.

But of course, there are people who don’t seem disturbed by said ickiness. Take, for instance, all the actors and actresses that act in a Woody Allen movie – especially the male leads playing morally compromised characters.  

@Dave_Horwitz cleverly points out the moral shenanigans here, highlighting the fact that producers literally have to dodge difficult questions, which means they fund Allen movies knowing what they’re getting into.

We’re gonna skip it and Manhattan and Husband and Wives. Heck, let’s add Vicky, Christina, Barcelona, and Annie Hall to the list, because even though they’re great movies and (somewhat) age appropriate, we’re just gonna go ahead and cancel our Woody Allen subscription. For good.