‘Harry Potter’ Tweets for the Most Dedicated Potterheads Among Us

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The world is a pretty scary and miserable place these days, but at least there’s one thing we can all agree on: The Harry Potter universe is the best thing ever. No matter how bad things get out there, you can always pop some popcorn and have yourself a Harry Potter movie marathon. Or make some tea, put on some comfy socks, and start reading the first book. Again. For the seventeenth time.

But even though it’s basically perfect and we love it so so much, that doesn’t mean that we can’t poke a little fun at the series. In fact, making jokes about the things you love can help you to enjoy them even more than you already do!

With that in mind, we’ve wrangled up some of the funniest Harry Potter-related tweets of all time. And they’re just downright magically hilarious.

Without further ado…

Here they are! (Warning: After you finish reading, you might be struck with the uncontrollable urge to reread the entire series.)

Basically.

I get that Dumbledore was dealing with all kinds of personal stuff throughout the series, but like…he could’ve helped Harry out just a little bit more?

First of all, how dare you.

Maybe Harry Potter is real and you’re not. Have you ever thought about that?

Fair point.

As someone who had to share a bedroom for most of my pre-college life, I just have to say that I also envied Harry’s cupboard under the stairs.

Yes please!

First of all, this is an A+ pun. Very good work here. Secondly, I don’t care what you call it, but I need for this to exist.

Duh, Harry.

There were hundreds of them. Just think for a second.

I’m a “Gross!”

Is it just me, or have they left the second “e” out of “creative”? That one’s obviously not Ravenclaw.

Yup.

My own hand would fluctuate pretty frequently between “mortal peril,” “sleeping,” and “thinking about lunch.”

They don’t make it easy.

Anyone who has ever struggled with a baby gate knows how real this is. Forget “a mother’s love.” All the Potters needed during that time were better babyproofing supplies.

Lame.

Aww, poor Voldy. It almost makes you feel bad for him, huh?

Every. Book.

*A Gryffindor student sneezes.* Dumbledore: 800 points to Gryffidor!

As if you can’t tell which answer is which.

As a Hufflepuff, I take offense here. Besides, my favorite color is yellow.

Sounds good, dude.

I mean, if it meant that I didn’t have to do anything and could just continue living my life, I probably would have gone for this plan, too.

Come on, Dumbledore.

Once again. Just a hint. A little one. That’s all Harry needed.

Poor Luna!

Luna: “These carriages are pulled by horse-like creatures that are only visible to some people.” Everyone: “That’s insane! They pull themselves! With magic!”

WWGD?

This is such a solid piece of advice, and I’m going to start following it, too.  

Same.

Hey, Moaning Myrtle also had her good qualities. I’m struggling to think of what they were, but I’m sure they were there.

Wait a second.

Looks like somebody’s going to be sorted into Ravenclaw.

Yes!

Also, why are none of the students obsessed with Britney Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time”? I’m going to need J.K. Rowling to weigh in on this.

He turned out OK, though.

At least I actually have something in common with Harry. That’s gotta count for something.

You’re hired!

If I am conducting an interview and someone says this, I will immediately hire them. I don’t even care how they answer the rest of the questions.

Harsh.

Sure, it’s short. But it also would have taken 23 years for him to finish writing it. (I’m sorry, Mr. Martin. Take your time. Love your work.)

This seems like a *bad* idea.

What could possibly go wrong? What’s that? Everything. Oh well!

Mmhm, mmhm. Makes sense.

Something tells me that this exact conversation was covered in Hogwarts: A History. Somebody ask Hermione for me.

Can you imagine?!

Can you imagine traveling by train?! What an imagination that J.K. Rowling has!

Cool.

This makes perfect sense. What else could you possibly want to use it for?

Not quite the same thing.

Can you imagine if Harry had to seek out and destroy seven hot guys? Then, he later he found out he was one of them? This is a completely different book series I’m writing, here.

I hope they say yes.

“Also, our firstborn will be named either Harry Ronald Albus or Minerva Hermione Molly. This is non-negotiable.”

Tough break.

Do you think the Aurors made Harry complete some kind of internship when he first started? Or did he just kind of immediately become the Head Auror Forever and Ever?

Grad school.

They’ll believe that, right? If not, just wait until you actually find Hogwarts.

Wait a second.

I’m sure there’s a reason for this. There must be. …Right?

Snap into a Slim Jim.

However, I am becoming quite hungry every time I try to cast a spell. I fear I will not be able to keep up the illusion for much longer.

Love this guy!

I’m pretty sure the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher could be named “I Am Voldemort And I Will Kill You” and Harry would still be like, “All right! Love this class!”

Good point.

I guess there’s probably some kind of magic cleaning spell, but why not just use something else? Like a Sorting Soap Bar?

What’s your sign?

You can tell a lot about a person from their Hogwarts house. And it’s a much more exact science than astrology.

Enemies of the heir, beware.

Is this a little extreme? Yes. Would it work? Probably.

The job is yours!

Dumbledore cares less about the true nature of Defense Against the Dark Arts professors than Harry does. And that is saying something.

Fair.

Everyone knows the people who peaked in high school. …Nobody is writing books about them.

So true.

The books don’t explicitly cover this, but if you read between the lines, it’s there. It’s definitely there.

Me too!

Again: I shared a room for my whole childhood. I could rock the alone, under-the-stairs existence.

Love languages.

Say it with me now: Awwwww!

My hero.

In case you were ever worried that you wouldn’t fit in at Hogwarts. You would. Just be the Sorting Hat.

Well, that stinks.

“You kept muttering about Unforgivable Curses and Butterbeer. So weird. Anyway, you’re cured. Time to go back to your aunt and uncle’s house.”

Rude.

If anyone ever tries to pull this kind of thing on you, you should probably just cut them out of your life. You don’t need that kind of negativity.

I’ve got some time.

And with that, I’m settling in for yet another rewatch. Good day. Share this with another Potterhead!