I don't know, man. If I have kids, I can't imagine traveling with them until they can sit still for a minimum of five hours and entertain themselves, not to mention take bathroom breaks by themselves. I don't know how parents do it. Traveling with small children should be an Olympic sport because the parents who do it all deserve medals. They are professional-level athletes of the highest caliber.
If you have ever been on a plane with a screaming baby, trust that no one is more embarrassed, more exhausted, and sorrier than that baby's parents. It just sucks all around. And then, you get to your vacation destination, and your kids are whining and they don't want to do anything and they're tired and they're cranky and you spend a week dragging them around while they're crying and hating everything. And then you hate your vacation, it's miserable, and you just want to go home and sleep. Ever been there? Then these tweets are for you.
This pretty much sums up what it's like to travel with kids.
They are lucky they're cute because otherwise they would be straight-up evil monsters.Stop that
Traveling with kids is just yelling, "STOP THAT OR I'M TAKING YOU HOME!" in a different city.— Sarcastic Mommy (@Sarcastic Mommy)1499957946.0
A liar
“I love traveling with my kids!” ~ A liar.— Minivan (@Minivan)1364503346.0
Never
Probably the best time to travel with young children is never.— Jim Gaffigan (@Jim Gaffigan)1387822814.0
Travel without happiness
Traveling with kids. For people who want to travel, but don't want to be happy.— Minivan (@Minivan)1381549643.0
Third bathroom stop
So two hours, 13 juice boxes & four cries of, "I gotta pee noooow!", we're off to our third bathroom stop. Traveling with kids is fun.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Stephanie Ortiz)1500820233.0
First episode of Lost
Travel tip: before boarding a plane with kids, show them the first episode of Lost and tell them it was caused by a toddler whining.— The Dad (@The Dad)1391225451.0
Prized possessions
It's not a family vacation until someone threatens to throw a prized possession from a moving vehicle.— Amy Dillon (@Amy Dillon)1471016301.0
Scarlet 'A'
Hester Prynne has nothing on this mom who boarded a plane with four children. The stares were icy. The judgment was real.Thousands of dollars
Good thing we spent thousands of dollars traveling to another country so my kids could play their iPads in a hotel room instead of at home.— Unfiltered Mama (@Unfiltered Mama)1491432423.0
Birth control
My kids are giving all the people on this plane a hard lesson in birth control right now.— inappropriate mom (@inappropriate mom)1336511497.0
Airline carry-on
Asked the 7yo to pack her airline carryon. She included: an empty box, a harmonica, shark teeth, and broken glass. #travelingwithkids— Kristina Killgrove (@Kristina Killgrove)1482518432.0
Same button
My kids don't always play with electronic toys on a car ride, but when they do, they press the same button FOR THE ENTIRE TRIP!— Marl (@Marl)1393963547.0
10 Reasons
10 Reasons Why Traveling with Kids is Great 1.— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist)1491240910.0
Bathroom tour
Any vacation with kids is basically just a cross country tour of various gas station bathrooms.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1432813534.0
Snacks on snacks
Backpack contents for plane trip: - enough food and drinks for my kids to eat for a month - 1 water for my wife and I to share— Robert Knop (@Robert Knop)1413582108.0
Eiffel Tower tantrums
Because temper tantrums are just as effective in Paris. #eiffeltower #travelingwithkids #toddlerlife #momlife #TBT https://t.co/YeCdvBa8aa— Rachel Stallard (@Rachel Stallard)1460035013.0
The click
The click of a mother's seatbelt on a road trip is obviously a signal to your children to drop crap they can't reach. #RoadTripWithKids— Danielle Herzog (@Danielle Herzog)1473950631.0
Traveling alone
Traveling alone with a kid is so fun! Traveling alone with a kid is so much! Traveling alone with a kid is so WHY D… https://t.co/ONesRH4R5B— Casey Brown (they/them) (@Casey Brown (they/them))1550687708.0
Gift shops
80% of taking your kids on vacation is keeping them out of gift shops.— Abe Yospe (@Abe Yospe)1532268336.0
Every single thing
Every thing you've ever seen a parent do in public that you've disagreed with I've done in this airport today.— Sweatpants Cher (@Sweatpants Cher)1430246308.0
Stop complaining
Stop complaining about the mom traveling alone with a bunch of screaming kids under 5. I'm buying that damn woman a drink.— Elizabeth Hackett (@Elizabeth Hackett)1406652727.0
Remembering
Booking plane tickets for a family trip is a fun little test to see if I still remember all my kids' birthdays and genders.— Ken Jennings (@Ken Jennings)1424376097.0
Aisle for middle
Woman traded aisle seat for a middle seat so I could sit near my kids. Which shows people will do anything to get away from kids on a plane— Kelcey Kintner (@Kelcey Kintner)1485177127.0
Babysitting
"How was your vacation?" "I didn't go on vacation. I was babysitting my kids while they were on vacation."— The ParentNormal (@The ParentNormal)1483379222.0
McDonald's
*spends hundreds of dollars on a 4-day vacation* Me: What was your favorite part? 5-year-old: When we ate at McDonald's.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1433010475.0
A book to read
I’m flying with three kids under 11. I brought a book to read. I know. I know. I was so optimistic it’s laughable.— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@No Idea: Daddy Blog)1513024096.0
Poop smell
It doesn't matter how much we spend on a hotel room, traveling with my kids guarantees it will smell like poop for our entire stay.— Unfiltered Mama (@Unfiltered Mama)1491524192.0
The drama
Kids being taken on vacation often have no idea how lucky they have it. They scream and cry, and that's just on the way to the airport.Don't care
I like to get to the airport early so my kids can drive me crazy enough that I don't care whether the plane crashes.— Sarah Thyre (@Sarah Thyre)1313776840.0