They say all the good ones are taken, but "they" obviously don't spend a lot of time on Twitter. Because, as these people prove, being single and dating is a laughing matter.
Can you hear me now?
via: TwitterIt's not what they say. It's what they hear.
via: TwitterThey can be so fickle. Whatever happened to man's best friend?
Give me a hand.
via: Twitter*Applause! Applause!* At least you don't try and start the wave.
via: TwitterAt least you're not alone. Plus, guinea pigs don't care if you ever wash your hair.
Let me love you!
via: TwitterThe paper says "restraining order" but your eyes that I can see through my binoculars say "interested." Potato, po-tah-to.
via: TwitterAnd then watch my husband creep up my dress and grab off my garter, slinging that sucker at the all the single dudes.
via: TwitterMaybe don't order the beans. Then again, he said to just be yourself and you sound like quite the gas.
The icing on the cake.
via: TwitterNope. You do you, girl.
Not to get technical, but...
via: TwitterThere, their, they're. There will be other fellows to date — who appreciate good grammar.
via: TwitterHey, better to be too polite. But maybe he just had a question?
I propose a toast.
via: TwitterWhat's with that whole, "clanging on the glass" thing anyway? Do we need to encourage them to publicly display their affection? Oh well. At least there is cake.
Setting the mood.
via: TwitterAnd there's nothing sexier than a menu. Well, except when the waiter brings your food. *swoon*
via: TwitterMaybe he's just playing hard to get. You don't know...
Let it go.
via: TwitterAnd they had so much in common other than eating. Like sleeping and breathing...it was really meant to be.
Put a ring on it.
via: TwitterSix. There are six. And there better be six when he gets back to the table.
via: TwitterBut she's creamy and delicious, so it's really a total win-win! Plus, she won't leave hair clogging the shower.
via: TwitterIt's really better that way. Can you bring me something back?
via: TwitterTwo for the price of one! Does that count as a threesome?
via: TwitterOld habits die hard. Swipe right on that idea.
Laughter is the best medicine.
via: TwitterSorry. I thought it was funny.
The love list.
via: TwitterBecause nothing says love like "clickbait." Don't make me choose, you monster!
State your position.
via: TwitterAsk and you shall receive. Hey, at least she's honest.
We are the champions.
via: TwitterLet's get ready to rumble! He's a dude you would want in your corner.
via: TwitterThink of the cats! You have to think of the cats!
Man's best friend.
via: TwitterOr the dogs. You have to think of the dogs.
Timing is everything.
via: TwitterThat's true. Sometimes it's not meant to be, but sometimes "someone" is a jerk. You know who you are...
Adventures in dating.
via: TwitterYeah. That sounds like way too much work.
They are quite an investment.
via: TwitterAnd also, quite a gamble. By the way, you're breathing too loud.
via: TwitterWe'll send a crew over right away. We can't have that monster walking the streets.
via: TwitterIf these walls could talk... Wait? Did you hear something?
via: TwitterDoor 1 or door 2? Yeah, good luck with that!