31 Tweets About Dating That Will Make You Laugh and Cry at the Same Time | 22 Words

They say all the good ones are taken, but "they" obviously don't spend a lot of time on Twitter. Because, as these people prove, being single and dating is a laughing matter.

Can you hear me now?

via: Twitter

It's not what they say. It's what they hear.

Doggone it.

via: Twitter

They can be so fickle. Whatever happened to man's best friend?

Give me a hand.

via: Twitter

*Applause! Applause!* At least you don't try and start the wave.

Animal magnetism.

via: Twitter

At least you're not alone. Plus, guinea pigs don't care if you ever wash your hair.

Let me love you!

via: Twitter

The paper says "restraining order" but your eyes that I can see through my binoculars say "interested." Potato, po-tah-to.

I do.

via: Twitter

And then watch my husband creep up my dress and grab off my garter, slinging that sucker at the all the single dudes.

Excuse me.

via: Twitter

Maybe don't order the beans. Then again, he said to just be yourself and you sound like quite the gas.

The icing on the cake.

via: Twitter

Nope. You do you, girl.

Not to get technical, but...

via: Twitter

There, their, they're. There will be other fellows to date — who appreciate good grammar.

Any questions?

via: Twitter

Hey, better to be too polite. But maybe he just had a question?

I propose a toast.

via: Twitter

What's with that whole, "clanging on the glass" thing anyway? Do we need to encourage them to publicly display their affection? Oh well. At least there is cake.

Setting the mood.

via: Twitter

And there's nothing sexier than a menu. Well, except when the waiter brings your food. *swoon*

Textual dysfunction.

via: Twitter

Maybe he's just playing hard to get. You don't know...

Let it go.

via: Twitter

And they had so much in common other than eating. Like sleeping and breathing...it was really meant to be.

Put a ring on it.

via: Twitter

Six. There are six. And there better be six when he gets back to the table.

Icy reception.

via: Twitter

But she's creamy and delicious, so it's really a total win-win! Plus, she won't leave hair clogging the shower.

Fast food.

via: Twitter

It's really better that way. Can you bring me something back?

He's multi-talented.

via: Twitter

Two for the price of one! Does that count as a threesome?

NEVER.

via: Twitter

Old habits die hard. Swipe right on that idea.

Laughter is the best medicine.

via: Twitter

Sorry. I thought it was funny.

The love list.

via: Twitter

Because nothing says love like "clickbait." Don't make me choose, you monster!

State your position.

via: Twitter

Ask and you shall receive. Hey, at least she's honest.

We are the champions.

via: Twitter

Let's get ready to rumble! He's a dude you would want in your corner.

Priorities.

via: Twitter

Think of the cats! You have to think of the cats!

Man's best friend.

via: Twitter

Or the dogs. You have to think of the dogs.

Timing is everything.

via: Twitter

That's true. Sometimes it's not meant to be, but sometimes "someone" is a jerk. You know who you are...

Adventures in dating.

via: Twitter

Yeah. That sounds like way too much work.

They are quite an investment.

via: Twitter

And also, quite a gamble. By the way, you're breathing too loud.

Emergency!

via: Twitter

We'll send a crew over right away. We can't have that monster walking the streets.

Three's company.

via: Twitter

If these walls could talk... Wait? Did you hear something?

No pressure.

via: Twitter

Door 1 or door 2? Yeah, good luck with that!