I don't know about you, but it seems like just about every single day, I come across a reminder of the fact that I am no longer as young and as spry as I used to be. It might be the fact that I literally cannot sit down or get up without some sort of ungodly sound escaping from my mouth. It might be realizing that all of the children I see walking by my house in the afternoon are actually high school seniors. It might just be looking at the calendar and realizing that somehow, 1990 was not actually a mere 10 years ago; it was nearly 30 years ago.

Regardless of the specifics, there are always plenty of reminders of the fact that every day I am getting older. And older. And older. Today, those reminders came to me in the form of tweets. I think they'll make you feel old, too. Hang in there. I'm right there with you, fellow oldster.


If you're not using Gwen Stefani to spell the word "bananas" then what are you even doing with your life? Kids these days will never know how fun it was to sing that song.


First of all, these kids clearly have zero chill. Secondly, was it really that long ago that Incredibles came out? OK. I just Googled it and the movie came out in 2004. A mere...15 years ago?! How can this be?


Reading each individual number like that is seriously making my eye twitch. And I never even watched the show!

3-D printing.

When you think about it, it is kind of bizarre that they're still using a picture of a floppy disk as the save icon. I have to assume that most kids have no idea what it even is.

Still scrolling.

My birth year used to be near the top of the list. Now it feels as though I have to scroll forever.

"Hang up."

Think about this: Kids these days have probably never heard a dial tone. Or the symphony of dialup noises!

Expensive cheese.

As someone who currently has three different expensive cheeses in my fridge, I have come to the conclusion that I am indeed quite old. At least I have cheese, though.


Hey, safety first! I'm pretty sure my second thought would be "I remember when I used to wear bikinis."


Thanks, kid. (If you want to freak your kid out, just tell them how old they'll be when you finally hit 60. That should do the trick.)

It's like a brand new show!

To be fair, this has been me for as long as I can remember. Books, too! I've read a lot of books. I'm sure I've read many of them at least twice without even realizing it.

Yay! New sponge!

Few things are exciting as a new sponge in the kitchen. It's almost as good as a new toothbrush!

Floppy disks.

At least they've actually heard the term "floppy disk." That's gotta put them head and shoulders above most of their peers.

This is me.

This just reminded me that it's almost time to switch to a new brush head! Man. This is living!

Football injury.

Sure, maybe you were just watching football when the injury occurred, but it still totally counts.

What is it?!

If you didn't try in vain to write on one of these things in front of the entire class, you haven't truly lived. Not in the late '90s, anyway.

Please tell me you know what this is.

He knows it's related to tapes, anyway. That's something!

Burning CDs.

It doesn't shock me so much that there are people who don't know about burning CDs. It does shock me that they are old enough to tweet.


I mean, this person is obviously a child, right. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to forget that this person is old enough to legally drink.

You are a youth.

You should still be refusing to use moisturizer and sunscreen! Please! Let me have this!

Mystery object.

Yes, it came out in 1955. It was a good year for technology.

Remember High School Musical?

I was a little too old for High School Musical, and even I am scandalized at the thought of anyone not recognizing Zac Efron as Troy Bolton. Getcha head in the game!

Oh no.

Well, this is. The one sentence that is capable of causing a midlife crisis. This is that sentence.

It's onnnnnn!

I can so clearly hear the sounds of my own siblings telling me that Boy Meets World is back on TV. Kids these days will never know the struggle.

*Sets AIM Away Message*

Sure, people still post vague, attention-seeking Facebook statuses. It just isn't the same, though.

2000s babies.

Hi, how do I delete someone else's tweet from the Internet? Asking for me.

Don't fall.

Falling used to be funny. Now, you're basically one fall away from death at all times.


Honestly, this is exactly the kind of party I would most like to attend, and I don't care if that means I'm old. There had better be fancy cheeses, too.

So peaceful.

This is literally the best sort of day I can imagine for myself. And I want to wake up early, too. So I can enjoy the entire day to myself!

Seriously, though.

You also think about how great it would be to have the entire house to yourself while your family is on vacation. Dream scenario, honestly.


Any time I find out a celebrity is older than me, I cut myself some slack and pretend that I still have plenty of time to become famous and successful. Share this with a fellow dusty old person!