Ahhh, Costco. It's a modern marvel. A lot of people will try to tell you that a certain mouse-run theme park is the happiest place on Earth– but I'm here to inform you that that is not true. Anyone who doesn't realize Costco is the happiest place on Earth clearly has not visited the super wide aisles of glory or tasted the sweet nectar that is Costco Free Samples (not to mention the Costco pizza).
If you shop there, you get it. And if you don't shop there, what are you waiting for? You can go to Costco for everything you might ever need in your life — and a lot of it, at that. They even sell coffins!
We've gathered a bunch of tweets that perfectly capture exactly what it means to be a Costco shopper. These people get it. In bulk.
This makes sense.
I think the reason Costco food is so cheap is because it takes a year off your life from the stress trying to find a parking spot— JMSN🧷 (@JMSN🧷)1505862325.0
Made the mistake of going to Costco after drinking a half bottle of wine & now I'm the proud owner of everything. Except tires.— Sarcastic Mommy (@Sarcastic Mommy)1476491638.0
You get a lime! And you get a lime!
Costco...because who doesn’t need 3,000 limes?— Stacey (@Stacey)1527198611.0
Saved a fortune!
Wife: You'll be so proud of me. I saved $9 at Costco. Me: How much did you spend? Wife: $600.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1416779949.0
There's so much to process.
The first time my wife took me to Costco... https://t.co/Fh83GuBAgR— Racy Smothers (@Racy Smothers)1505692863.0
Went to Costco for paper towels and bought the Cleveland Browns and a helicopter.— Chez McCorvey (@Chez McCorvey)1397006058.0
This is a challenge.
"You like mayonnaise? Prove it." - Costco— chRis (@chRis)1424663163.0
It's not a new food.
I love that people are sampling animal crackers at Costco like they don't know what they taste like. NOTHIN'S CHANGED, GUYS.— Megan Batoon (@Megan Batoon)1489342888.0
How dare they?!
when you're about to grab a free sample at @Costco but the person in front of you grabs the last two #PhelpsFace https://t.co/Q96niGeqCR— Adam (@Adam)1470754855.0
That wasn't me, I swear.
when you're gonna go get a sample at Costco https://t.co/4GaFbuMksJ— alondrizzy 🦋 👼🏻 (@alondrizzy 🦋 👼🏻)1461167253.0
Welcome to Costco!
I don't see it as "Costco Free Samples." I see it as a free 17 course meal.— Abe Yospe (@Abe Yospe)1490748349.0
So many boxes.
"Are you guys moving?" "No, home from Costco."— dadpression (@dadpression)1486255645.0
It just wouldn't work out.
Sometimes I wish I could have lived in medieval Europe, but then I imagine galloping home from Costco with 20 bottles of BBQ sauce and nope.— Stabbatha Christy (@Stabbatha Christy)1541272108.0
Costco is the devil https://t.co/BGimAlmXUQ— KaiKujo🌺 (@KaiKujo🌺)1544726370.0
I'm so sorry.
I sincerely apologize for every time I've talked shit about Costco. Now that I have two kids I realize that this place is fucking magical.
— Linz DeFranco (@LinzDeFranco) December 11, 2018
Hey, it's OK.
You don't know until you know. Welcome to our side. You'll need another freezer.
You're growing up!
I used to get excited when jumping out of planes. Now I get excited to see that #Costco added self-check out stands. https://t.co/5QiGiN7vt7— Brett Shavers 🙄 (@Brett Shavers 🙄)1544415871.0
Finally found a wine glass big enough. Thank you Costco. https://t.co/uHjqO0ilX7— LibertyJ (@LibertyJ)1544554754.0
Congrats on the new pillow!
I know I'm getting old because I'm super excited about a new pillow I got from Costco.
— The Robfather™ (@thatUPSdude) December 9, 2018
Hey, new pillows are exciting.
Oh no. Did I just get old?
Hooray!Another year of sweet deals and free samples! Let's go to Costco to celebrate!
Me after a trip to Costco: pic.twitter.com/X2Yecr8PRp
— Mike (@MichaelKaliman) December 10, 2018
Some might say stocking up on toilet paper is crazy, but you're going to use it eventually.
I'm so proud of myself. I went to Costco hungry and only spent $17,000.— Robert Knop (@Robert Knop)1481410117.0
[Disney narrator voice] And from that day on…the queen's heart grew as cold as the Costco produce room— Ken Jennings (@Ken Jennings)1477529973.0
I would have said yes.
A guy at Costco just looked at my cart and asked if I run a restaurant.— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland)1409282725.0
You're definitely going to qualify.
I got out of the Costco parking lot alive, so I’m ready to fill out my application for Survivor.— Stacey (@Stacey)1530651953.0
Hit me up!This is another great benefit to stocking up on toilet paper. Now everyone can have some!
It's a sport.
I think they should include trying to get to the check out at Costco as an Olympic sport.— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSays)1470452372.0
I know you're not supposed to hug the old lady giving out samples at Costco, but the sausage she gave me had cheese inside. Cheese.In.Side.— Abe Yospe (@Abe Yospe)1454794987.0
My husband asked if I wanted to go on a date & then we laughed & laughed & went to Costco.— Sarcastic Mommy (@Sarcastic Mommy)1526963692.0
The math checks out.
Yeah but the way I see it is, I have the rest of my life to exercise but this 350 pack of Oreos from Costco expires in December of 2017.— Lurkin' Mom (@Lurkin' Mom)1438266062.0
Costco is closed. anyone know where else i can get a case of 47 mustards for a family of 3?— kim (@kim)1533505414.0