Ahhh, Costco. It’s a modern marvel. A lot of people will try to tell you that a certain mouse-run theme park is the happiest place on Earth– but I’m here to inform you that that is not true. Anyone who doesn’t realize Costco is the happiest place on Earth clearly has not visited the super wide aisles of glory or tasted the sweet nectar that is Costco Free Samples (not to mention the Costco pizza).
If you shop there, you get it. And if you don’t shop there, what are you waiting for? You can go to Costco for everything you might ever need in your life — and a lot of it, at that. They even sell coffins!
We’ve gathered a bunch of tweets that perfectly capture exactly what it means to be a Costco shopper. These people get it. In bulk.
This makes sense.
I think the same must be true for Trader Joe’s. Have you ever been to a Trader Joe’s with a non-awful parking lot?
I’m not sure they exist.
Wine shopping!
Everyone knows it’s important to drink responsibly.
No one is warning people to Costco-shop responsibly, though.
You get a lime! And you get a lime!
On the plus side, you are definitely not going to get scurvy anytime soon. That’s nice, right?
Saved a fortune!
This is the real trick Costco pulls.
And yet, I fall for it every time.
There’s so much to process.
Everywhere you look, there’s a deal.
Or a free sample. Or someone with multiple carts packed to the brim.
Congrats!
I hear the Costco brand helicopters are really great.
I thought they were only available in three-packs, though?
This is a challenge.
You don’t really love something until you can eat 5 gallons of it.
That’s what Costco seems to think, anyway.
It’s not a new food.
See, people know exactly what to expect.
But it’s free! You can’t turn down free food! That’s a rule.
How dare they?!
Hell hath no fury like a Costco sample seeker scorned.
I hope they brought another tray out.
That wasn’t me, I swear.
Headed to Costco?
Don’t forget your box of wigs and stick-on facial hair!
Welcome to Costco!
It’s also a full-body workout!
There are so many benefits to a Costco membership.
So many boxes.
A fun game to play in Costco is: Is that person a doomsday prepper, or just a parent to many children?
I always guess wrong.
It just wouldn’t work out.
There are plenty of reasons why living in medieval Europe was less than stellar.
This is the main one, though.
Pantry size?!
Oh, come on.
We all know you love it.
I’m so sorry.
I sincerely apologize for every time I’ve talked shit about Costco. Now that I have two kids I realize that this place is fucking magical. — Linz DeFranco (@LinzDeFranco) December 11, 2018
Hey, it’s OK.
You don’t know until you know. Welcome to our side. You’ll need another freezer.
You’re growing up!
Welcome to adulthood!
Now you can reminisce about all the cool things you used to do while chowing down on Costco free samples.
This’ll do.
Worried about needing a giant bottle of wine to fill those glasses?
Don’t worry. Costco has you covered.
Congrats on the new pillow!
I know I’m getting old because I’m super excited about a new pillow I got from Costco. — The Robfather™ (@thatUPSdude) December 9, 2018
Hey, new pillows are exciting.
Oh no. Did I just get old?
Hooray!
Another year of sweet deals and free samples!
Let’s go to Costco to celebrate!
TP Forever.
Me after a trip to Costco: pic.twitter.com/X2Yecr8PRp — Mike (@MichaelKaliman) December 10, 2018
Some might say stocking up on toilet paper is crazy, but you’re going to use it eventually.
Why not?
Whoops.
On the bright side, you probably don’t have to go shopping again for another 12 years. That’s something!
Brrrrr!
If Frozen 2 doesn’t already take place in the Costco produce room, then the creators of that film made a horrible mistake.
I would have said yes.
First of all, how dare he break the cardinal rule of grocery shopping and look in your cart!
Secondly, it sounds like you’re doing everything right. Keep it up.
You’re definitely going to qualify.
Immunity challenges have nothing on the Costco parking lot.
In fact, I might volunteer to spend a month in a remote location just to get out of having to visit the Costco parking lot for the rest of my life.
Hit me up!
This is another great benefit to stocking up on toilet paper.
Now everyone can have some!
It’s a sport.
I’m now imagining an entire Olympic games set inside a Costco.
And I like it.
Inside?!
Yeah, you did the right thing here.
She was probably an angel.
Date night!
Hey! Costco is a perfectly acceptable date location! So is Target.
The math checks out.
Those Oreos aren’t going to eat themselves!
You’ve got work to do!
Good luck!
I hope you find comfort in this trying time.
Share this with someone who loves shopping at Costcoo!
