Relationships are tough, but breakups are even worse. There's a dramatic aspect to them, as it can be hard to say goodbye to someone that you spent years with. But, like anything, breakups can be an inevitable part of life. And quite often, breakups teach you things about yourself and can allow you to look introspectively, and prepare you for your next relationship.
And then sometimes, breakups are just insane.
One Twitter user, Trevor S. Valle, tweeted a thread of a breakup he overheard at three in the morning. The story is more bonkers than you probably think it is. It's hard to feel sorry for this couple after reading what went down during their breakup.
The story begins with Trevor hearing a shrill scream from out his window.
THREAD: I just overheard one of the most Millennial breakups, ever. Scene: the apartment across the alley from me… https://t.co/Y4DW3qDyQb— Trevor S. Valle (@Trevor S. Valle)1539773476.0
Right off the bat, we know this can't be good.But Trevor, the brave soul that he is, decided to listen to the situation unfolding across the alley. And what a situation it was.
The stakes weren't quite as high as a scream would lead someone to believe.
Previous young screaming voice, apparently male: "I DROPPED MY PHONE!" GF: You scared the shit out of me! What hap… https://t.co/vbQdxonz1r— Trevor S. Valle (@Trevor S. Valle)1539773477.0
Phones are basically our life-lines.I kind of understand the dramatics of the situation, but it gets worse.
This is where things get gnarly.
GF: Why is the door locked? BF: I CAN'T GET MY PHONE GF: Open the door. I'll do it. (The boyfriend has been scre… https://t.co/svL1rgI9Yp— Trevor S. Valle (@Trevor S. Valle)1539773477.0
Okay, this is totally tragic.Both of the people involved in this couple seem like they could take it down a notch, but honestly? I'm here for the drama!
The girlfriend then attempts to be helpful.
GF: Flush it a couple times and then get it out and wash it off. BF: (loud gagging) GF: Jesus did you throw up?… https://t.co/8Rw2MGg0r9— Trevor S. Valle (@Trevor S. Valle)1539773478.0
It doesn't get nastier than that.But it's about to get a whole lot worse.
Turns out, there's another woman!
GF: Ok, just calm the fuck down, flush it like ten times, and pull it OUT and wash it OFF. BF: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAN… https://t.co/vMdQEF3HUs— Trevor S. Valle (@Trevor S. Valle)1539773478.0
There are no words.If that's what was going down, then no, thank you. I don't want to have any part in it.
Cue the defensive boyfriend:
BF: WE NEVER FUCKED, SO WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM? IT'S NOT CHEATING! GF: FACETIMING SOMEONE ELSE AND JERKING OF… https://t.co/WzoP8yykEp— Trevor S. Valle (@Trevor S. Valle)1539773479.0
Why wouldn't she hang up?I would've hung up immediately. You don't just stay on FaceTime after you've been dropped in a toilet.
This is when it gets really good.
GF: HE'S ALL YOURS BITCH, AND RIGHT NOW YOU'RE COVERED WITH THE BEST HE'S GOT! BF: FUCK YOU GF: Not anymore you w… https://t.co/JnU4EMR2Xz— Trevor S. Valle (@Trevor S. Valle)1539773479.0
It's hard to say, but it sounds like the girlfriend is the only one who came out of this situation okay.Obviously, the internet had a lot to say about this breakup story.
A lot of people didn't believe the story, but Trevor showed a picture of how close the two apartment buildings are.
For those non-believers, here's the window across the way. Distance is less than 20ft. I'm guessing the small windo… https://t.co/NUJNOrIpId— Trevor S. Valle (@Trevor S. Valle)1539807416.0
Some people were living for the sheer drama of it all!
@tattoosandbones https://t.co/EJeIsZ0AeB— Radical Liberal Rooker (@Radical Liberal Rooker)1539828533.0
Others were just really interested in what kind of phone this boyfriend had.
@tattoosandbones I want to know the brand of phone that's waterproof. Would have been handy for my late boyfriend w… https://t.co/PfmWi32kP4— I Love dogs♿ (@I Love dogs♿)1539861222.0
There were also questions about the logistics of it all, which Trevor tried to answer.
@historBilia Maybe he was already in the bathroom when he called the other girl/other girl called him? No clue. I… https://t.co/Pk36iivZS9— Trevor S. Valle (@Trevor S. Valle)1539808170.0
Some decided they didn't want the answers to the questions.
@tattoosandbones I'm not sure I want the answers either but the questions still remain.— Ash (@Ash)1539813855.0
Some believe the poop was a lie all along!It's all very nauseating. Does anyone have Pepto-Bismol on hand?
Some got straight-up scientific with it.
@LadyMdeJ @tattoosandbones This explains many things about male behavior patterns that we generally choose not to understand.— Ken Lonquest (@Ken Lonquest)1539800742.0
Others decided the story was enough for them to log off of Twitter.It really makes you question what we're doing with our free time. It's fine. We're all fine and productive members of society.
Others got punny with it.
@tattoosandbones @BastardProphet This is definitely the best worst breakup ever. (was gonna say "the shittiest", bu… https://t.co/vCPyeR3buy— Noam Choris 💚 (@Noam Choris 💚)1539801829.0
The breakup story made some people feel better about themselves.
@tattoosandbones I have never been so okay with being single. And old.— Courtney Hoskins (@Courtney Hoskins)1539817353.0
Of course, the majority of people were confused.
@tattoosandbones @McGrewSecurity More questions that it answers... https://t.co/3AVq2k7c3l— Martin Hepworth (@Martin Hepworth)1539801692.0
Some people regretted reading the thread.
@EscoBlades @vicious696 @tattoosandbones I should not have clicked to find out what you were laughing about— Rami Ismail (رامي) (@Rami Ismail (رامي))1539825302.0
But there were definitely those who loved this story.
@tattoosandbones Oh. My. God. At once both hilarious and appalling. I'm almost 60. Have never had a laughing fit… https://t.co/tVtycFKynJ— ThatDarnShrink (@ThatDarnShrink)1539829914.0
Relationships are complicated, y'all.They can be wonderful, of course. Or they can end up like this.
We can only hope this couple got their stuff together.
@tattoosandbones Best thread ever! https://t.co/Km9a6E6HEa— Aaron McDonald (@Aaron McDonald)1539811627.0