Let’s face it—your unemployed friend isn’t exactly sprinting toward their dream job anytime soon. Their current full-time gig? Couch potato extraordinaire with a minor in snackology and an advanced degree in “I’ll get to it tomorrow.”
We’ve rounded up some essentials they need to advance their career as professional “bed rotter”. Think fleece robes and journals that are basically free therapy. But we threw some “tough love” buys that maybe, just maybe, will gently remind them there’s a whole world out there. We got planners, snazzy wardrobe must haves, and even an alarm clock.
This planner helps your employed bestie plan their next move… or nap.
This 2025–2026 planner is the perfect gift for your funemployed friend who’s been “between opportunities” since the last season of The Mandalorian. With hourly time slots they absolutely won’t use yet and budget pages they absolutely need, it’s chic, spiral-bound, and ready to help them schedule job interviews—or just keep track of what day it is. You’re welcome.
Maybe they’ll actually feel up to job hunting with this bed laptop desk.
Let’s be real: your unemployed buddy’s “office” is usually their bed. This laptop desk makes it official—comfortable, adjustable, and perfect for those “grueling” job applications or endless Netflix breaks. Bonus: no more laptops slipping off their lap mid-scroll. Productivity level: questionable.
This plant will give them some purpose!
When life feels like an endless “we’ve decided to go in another direction,” give your friend the joy of watching something actually grow. This little guy is all, “water me, talk to me, look at me thrive!”—just like your bestie used to be before capitalism broke them. Purpose is back, baby, and it’s in a 2″ pot.
This under-desk treadmill is perfect because Netflix marathons don’t count as cardio.
For that friend whose biggest workout is reaching for the remote, this under-desk treadmill is a game-changer. Quiet enough to sneak in some steps during job hunting or Netflix marathons, it lets them walk the walk — even if their career path is still in park. Plus, it fits under any desk, so they can keep hustling in style… kinda.
Maybe if they have a good laptop, that job search will actually happen.
Help your unemployed friend stop blaming the “broken laptop” excuse. This Chromebook is lightweight, tough, and built to survive their stressful snack attacks. With fast memory and a battery that lasts longer than their last job interview, it’s perfect for binge job hunting or binge-watching. Bonus: free cloud storage and ad-free YouTube!
Since they can’t really afford it, snag this sheet set while it’s over $50 off.
These buttery-soft, bamboo-blend sheets are here to elevate your funemployed friend’s bed-to-couch rotation. Cooling, wrinkle-free, and deeply pocketed (just like they wish their bank account was), this set is peak unemployed luxury. Because if they’re gonna hit snooze at 11 a.m. again, at least they’ll be wrapped in silky, sweat-free comfort.
This trimmer might actually help your unemployed friend land a job—or at least a date.
Your employed friend has time. Too much time. Time to grow things they probably shouldn’t. Enter: this rechargeable grooming trimmer. With adjustable guards, detailing heads, and even a nose hair trimmer (yes, please), this bad boy is here to clean them up from ears to… other places. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll finally land a job!
This shirt helps your unemployed bestie serve looks while dodging job alerts.
He may be broke, but he’s not about to wear a graphic tee from 2009. This mesh button-down is that “I vacation in places I can’t afford” energy. It’s crisp, cool, and ready to distract everyone from the fact that he hasn’t updated his résumé since the Obama administration.
This bag might actually convince people your unemployed friend has somewhere to be.
\Rugged, waterproof, and basically a résumé in satchel form, this vintage canvas messenger bag fits a 17” laptop and every last shred of hope your unemployed friend is clinging to. With enough pockets to organize dreams and disappointment alike, it’s perfect for interviews, coffee shop co-working, or just looking important at a Panera.
He’s got to change into something other than his sweatpants – these slim-fit slacks will do!
You know what screams “I’m ready to contribute to society” louder than a résumé? These wrinkle-resistant, stain-fighting, slim-fit pants. Perfect for the friend who keeps saying, “I’m just waiting for the right opportunity” while binge-watching courtroom dramas. Slip these on and suddenly he’s hireable, hirable, and hot.
They need these shoes if you want them to stop showing up to interviews in flip-flops.
These shoes are like a pep talk for your unemployed friend’s feet. Lightweight, comfy, and stylish enough to fool any HR person from across the room. The arch support means less foot pain during those long job hunts or awkward networking events. Gift these, and watch your buddy almost look like they’ve got their life together.
They’ll cry a little less when they read the “Jobless Diaries“.
Unemployment doesn’t have to be a total drag—especially when they’ve got Jobless Diaries in hand. This sassy little paperback is full of advice, witty observations, and comforting truths for anyone stuck in the employed zone. Because if you’re going to be unemployed, might as well have a funny book to remind them they’re not alone (and maybe even inspire a job hunt).
Sock game strong thanks to this 60 pack, job game… still pending.
Your friend’s resume might be empty, but their sock drawer won’t be after this gift. Sixty pairs of soft, breathable ankle socks perfect for pacing back and forth between naps, snack runs, and contemplating life decisions. Bonus: They’ll never have to wear the same sock twice while pretending to be “actively job searching.”
All those rejection emails make these motivational stress balls absolutely necessary.
Let’s face it—job hunting can feel like a never-ending game of squeeze and release. These motivational stress balls bring the fun and the feels with bright colors and quotes that remind your friend it’s okay to be a little stressed… as long as they keep squeezing toward their next opportunity (or snack break).
This journal is basically the therapy they definitely need.
Perfect for your employed friend spiraling after the 37th “We’ve moved forward with other candidates” email. This journal comes with 300 juicy writing prompts, this compact journal gives them something to do besides rewatching Succession. It’s therapy-adjacent, aesthetically cute, and cheaper than a latte.
This sunrise alarm clock might be the only thing that gets them up before noon.
Give your jobless friend the gift of pretending they’re getting up for something important. With a sunrise simulation, 7 LED mood lights, and a built-in temperature reader, this alarm clock is a vibe. Plus, the tap-to-snooze feature lets them delay their existential crisis by 9 minutes at a time. Baby steps.
When they finally land that job, they’ll be glad they have this stationery kit.
Right now, this stationery bundle is being used to write “apply for job” in four different pastel colors. But one day, when the interviews roll in, they’ll already have the desk setup of a highly functioning employee. This kit is part productivity, part manifestation — and fully a vibe.
All those rejection emails can’t hurt that much with this eye massager.
This eye massager is the perfect gift for your friend who’s mastered the art of “staring blankly at the ceiling wondering if cats have jobs.” It heats up, vibrates, and massages away the stress of endless job applications and awkward networking emails. And did we mention it plays music? Maybe it’s time they popped up a self-help audiobook.
Maybe he won’t notice if you switch out his holey pair with these soft fleece pants.
If their sweatpants look like they survived a zombie apocalypse, it’s time for an intervention. These fleece sweatpants are the holy grail replacement for those ratty, smelly, “please-don’t-judge-me” pants. With moisture-wicking tech and an adjustable waist, it’s got plenty of stretch for that inevitable unemployed extra poundage.
When job hunting gets rough, this robe has their back (and can hold their snacks).
Because your unemployed buddy deserves to feel like a king—even if their throne is the couch. This fleece robe with a hood and pockets is so soft and warm, they might just forget to look for jobs (but hey, comfort first). Bonus: it’s machine washable, so all those snack spills are no problem.