Ways People Somehow Manage to Totally Screw up at Subway | 22 Words

We're all familiar with the fine fast food establishment called Subway, right? In case you've somehow never had the distinct pleasure of walking into a Subway, here's a quick rundown of what you can expect. First of all, the smell. I don't even know exactly how to describe it other than to say it's very distinct. Legend has it that if you ever spend an entire hour inside a Subway restaurant, you will smell like Subway for the rest of your life.

Then there's the bread. Your sandwich journey officially begins when you select the type and size of bread you want to enjoy. Italian herb and cheese? Honey oat? Jalepeño cheese? I'm a flatbread fan, myself, but you can't go wrong here. After your bread selection, you choose your sandwich type, whether you want it toasted (which, of course, you do), and which veggies you want to decorate your lunch with.

It all seems simple, right? That's because it is. And yet, people manage to mess up at Subway all the time.

Here are some tweets from distraught Subway workers filling you in on all the ways people regularly screw up at Subway restaurants. Please, don't do these things.

The green stuff.

Is this some kind of riddle? Do they only want green veggies, or are they referring to one green veggie in particular?

Do you want bacon with that?

In case it wasn't completely obvious (it should be), the bacon is meant to be heated up with the toaster. If you don't put the bacon on there before you toast it, you have to toast it again. Or microwave it. Either way, you've really messed up.

Say the bread first!

Remember the info we went over a minute ago? You say the bread type first! Don't forget the size, too!

"The white cheese."

Subway has, like, four different types of cheese that are all white. You're going to need to be more specific.

Just the nails.

OK, this misunderstanding is pretty funny. Although, I'm guessing Subway may have some rules about fingernail polish. I know all my food service jobs did!


To be fair, I often become similarly incoherent when asked about cheese. But at least I know what kind of white cheese I want! (Pepperjack, thanks!)


I guess some people are into sandwiches. Or they really like the smell of Subway. Just kidding, that is impossible.

Be polite!

This is a general rule for anyone who ever eats food from a restaurant: Be nice. The people making and serving your food are (probably) not robots. You can say "Hi" before launching into your order.

Oh, the *good* sauce.

If I worked at Subway and this happened to me, I would wink conspiratorially at the customer and start to drizzle the water from the cucumber bin all over their sandwich.

Take a chill pill.

I don't know how anyone manages to do do this unless maybe they've never been to Subway before, but come on! Let the people do one thing at a time!

This one drives me nuts.

I feel like every time I'm in a Subway, I hear someone ask for "salad" on their sub. Sure, it's not a huge deal, but, come on. It's just lettuce.

I didn't know this one!

If you want guacamole on your sub, you should ask for it before the other veggies because they spread it directly on the bread. If you do, your sandwich artist may become your best friend.


This is the worst thing that can happy at pretty much every job. Hopefully, they haven't packed everything up yet!

Do you know what veggies are?

I guess tomatoes are technically fruits. Something tells me the customer wasn't listening, though.


If you go to Subway, order a sandwich, and think it's too sandwichy. You probably should never go to a Subway again. Sandwiches are kind of their thing.


The only good response is to immediately start shouting back at him. "WHAT KIND OF BREAD DO YOU WANT, SIR?!"

Just. Answer. The. Question.

Believe it or not, most food service employees aren't trying to trick you with some kind of food-based riddle. They need to know the answer to their questions.

Wait, what?

A Veggie Delite is a sub with no meat. If you add turkey it magically becomes a turkey sandwich. Weird how that works, huh?

A meat sub.

Turkey. Pastrami. Meatballs. Roast beef. Tuna. Bacon. Ham. Chicken. Those are just some of the meats that Subway offers. Did you want them all?

The Italian bread is white bread.

Good to know! This lady is probably the least at fault on the list.

Better grab a ruler.

Maybe they think a "footlong" refers to an actual foot of an actual person and they don't know how big it is. That's what I'm choosing to believe, anyway. The alternative is too sad.

"I'll have some ungions."

Having worked at a coffee shop and listened to people say "expresso" countless times every single day, I get this one. I'm going to be very careful about how I say "onions" from now on.

Keep it short.

Once again, ordering food is pretty straightforward. You tell them what you want and don't say what you don't want. This strategy will take you far in life.


To be fair, this is a little bit of a tongue twister. I can't explain why, but I get it.

Sure thing!

These are the moments when all you can do is sigh, and grab the footlong bread. And tweet about it later, of course.

Know what you want ahead of time!

It's OK to change your mind as long as you're still polite when you tell your sandwich artist. But it's going to cause some trust issues.

You have to choose one.

I guess that means it's dealer's choice! Just pour some hot water over it.


Look, I like avocado. I really like it! But I would not do this. And you shouldn't either.

Take a guess.

I would be so tempted to ask people how long they think a footlong sub is. Take a wild guess.

Keep your hands to yourself!

If they wanted you to touch your sandwich, they wouldn't have built a literal wall between you and said sandwich. If you really want to touch your sandwich, make one at home. Know anyone who works at Subway? Share this with them. They'll get it.