Humans are such fascinating creatures.
There are so many ways in which we differ, but so many more in which we’re actually pretty darn similar.
There are some things that every person does without even realizing it.
That’s just part of being a human.
See how many of these you relate to:
Make this decision (over and over again):
You know it’s going to irritate Future You.
But that’s Future You’s problem.
Double-check your cell phone in the theater:
I still turn my phone completely off during movies.
I know there’s zero chance that it’ll make any sound, but…ya know. Just to be EXTRA SAFE.
Sleep in (even when it could have devastating consequences):
Another one is deciding as you’re going to bed that you’re going to wake up early to work out…
And then deciding in the morning that you don’t really need to work out.
Make plans like this:
Hey, you already missed your chance to do it at 6! Let’s hope the same thing doesn’t happen an hour later. (But you know it totally will.)
This next one is painful. Literally…
Forget that you have a bad ankle:
But your body doesn’t forget.
Get a little too confident while cooking:
You got cocky, kid.
Have fun digging through the garbage can.
Letting your food get cold while you scroll through Netflix:
Food tastes better when you’re watching the correct show on Netflix while you eat it.
It’s just a fact.
Pretend you need *something else* at the grocery store:
“Wow, did you ever notice how many different kinds of milks there are? There sure are a lot of ’em! I think I’m just going to be here for another five minutes examining all these MILKS.”
Take a tour of your home while you’re on the phone:
Honestly, this is the most exercise I get during the week. It’s also when I do all my dusting.
This next one is for my pals who don’t like math very much…
Panic when you see the rulers come out:
This same level of panic can be experienced after the test when your friends are discussing how they got their answers to certain questions and their methods do not sound even a little bit familiar.
Instantly track packages:
As if it’s going to magically say, “That thing you just ordered qualified for lightning-fast delivery and it is OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR RIGHT NOW!”
Forget every song you’ve ever heard in your entire life:
Why is music?
Doubt your alarm clock:
Waking up in a panic thinking your alarm never went off is just plain awful.
It’s even worse when it’s two minutes before your alarm was scheduled to go off and you’re robbed of 120 seconds of sleep.
Struggle with passing people on the sidewalks:
If they start to speed up in order to stay ahead of you, you should probably just turn around and go home for the rest of the day.
This next one is for anyone who has accidentally zoned out (AKA everyone):
Zone out and refuse to zone back in:
You could decide to start paying attention.
Mourn your stuffed nose:
*Singing quietly and stuffily*
“Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone?”
Get too excited for text messages:
Someone is trying to contact me!
…Oh. It’s just a computer.
Freak out when your dog eats something:
And then it ends up being something totally benign like a Cheerio.
Thanks a lot, dog.
Overthink your grocery purchases:
In reality, the cashier probably couldn’t care less.
Share this with someone who will understand.