Picture this: you're out with your significant other, having a great time at a party and someone else comes over to chat with you both. But something feels off...they just won't stop hitting on your special someone and even worse? Your SO is flirting back. Freeze frame.
What are you supposed to do in this situation? Is it controlling to ask your SO to stop? Or is it a sign of something worse?
Never fear! We're about to take you to the source of all great relationship advice: Reddit. Yes, after one man asked Reddit this very same question the denizens of the internet came to his rescue with advice born from experience (and in some cases born from nothing but the confidence of being online). Find out what people really think when they see their significant others flirting.
And if you don't agree with the advice? Jump in on Reddit and share your own advice.
Redditor Maangeella started the conversation with a pretty vulnerable question.
Have the general experience that when we are out, she gets hit on quite frequently but leads the guys on by flirting back.
I'm not really bothered that she gets hit on, I take that more as a compliment for her and for me, but the fact that shes flirtatious and sometimes completely disregards me makes me wonder how I should approach it if and when it will happen again.
There were some strong opinions right out of the gate.Council of Beards immediately jumped in with this: That's gonna be a big "not cool" from me, chief. I don't even know if I'd bother having a boundary-setting conversation, cos it sounds like she's just going to keep doing it behind your back.
There were a lot of agrees on this one.
I had this problem with an ex. He would brush me off and always complain about how he's just a flirtatious personality and he can't help it... Long story short he cheated on me HARD for the majority of the relationship until I found out and dumped his ass.
It seems like attention seeking behavior OP and that's not good-Lorybear
There were some...not great stories. Oof.My ex, she told me, it's just harmless. Then I found out she was texting. It's just texting. Then I found out she was cheating.... I didn't mean to.
2 kids, a home, 2 cars, everything, she fucked it away.-Paddywhacker
Seriously there were a LOT of stories about cheating.I agree, my first LTR ex was like this. When girls obviously liked him he would flirt back easily. Made excuses in my mind that maybe he just needed the ego boost and I'm still the girlfriend at the end of the day. Obviously, he cheated on me a couple of times before I left him and finally accepted he’s not gonna change. That's who he is that is what brings him joy and would literally flirt with anyone who shows interest there comes a time you just get tired of waiting for shit to hit the fan. If she does that with you around imagine how it is without you around. Some people are just like this from the get-go it’s good she’s being transparent with you. Now you have to have a talk and its up to you if you have the mental and emotional energy to check every time whether she’ll be flirting back or flirt behind your back. -Derpinana
So many warnings to tell OP to leave now.I've only experienced it once. I let it go and thought it was just her personality. That personality led to her cheating on me with multiple people and her step mom is the one who told me about it. I dumped her. No idea at all why she wouldn’t just leave me if she didn’t want to be with me, it would have been a lot better. I’ll never understand that. -LemmieBee
Some of the thoughts came from a woman's perspective and still didn't like it. OP's girlfriend is seriously disrespectful.As a woman, I agree. What kind of a girlfriend does that when you are clearly in a relationship? She's trash and she needs to be dumped. She has no respect for you if she does something shitty like that. The very least she could do is show some respect, and, you know, not flirt with other dudes. Get rid of her before she starts throwing out more red flags. -justalittleparanoia
And the biggest question many people had:And if that’s what she is doing while you are with her, how is she acting when you aren’t ? -mrenz9
Many people were convinced that this showed disrespect and that the OP deserved better.Lol leave her... she clearly doesn’t have her eyes on the real prize, seems to me that she doesn’t respect you and your relationship with her. -sagmarth
And whether she's cheating or not, people didn't like the behavior.To me that would be a huge red flag that she either can’t establish boundaries or is purposely ignoring boundaries. Either way, that type of behavior is so uncool and just asking for a catastrophe. -thedude2017
Some people weren't so quick to think it was a bad situation though.
Uhh, that is terrible advice. You are making huge assumptions. OP shouldn't just assume bad intent on his partner's behalf without even talking to her about it. She might not even realize she's doing it.
OP, here's what you should actually do. First, assume good intent. You will never have a happy relationship if you always assume the worst about your partner. Second, talk to her. Let her know you feel uncomfortable. That's it. That's all there is to it. She either respects your feelings and stops flirting or she doesn't, and you move on from there.-DrMnhttn