When Her Daughter Called Her ‘Fat,’ This Mom Knew Exactly What to Say

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How old should your kids be when you start talking about the “F” word?

No, not that one, but “fat.” Sadly, body image issues are coming up earlier and earlier with kids these days due in no small part to social media and the images portrayed in the media in general. That’s why it’s important that parents talk to their kids about what exactly that means, so as to hopefully instill a confidence in them early on.

That was the case for Allison Kimmey, who shared this story on Instagram and Facebook where it quickly went viral, and it’s not hard to see why.

  via : Instagram  

Along with this picture, she wrote: “My daughter called me fat today. She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat. Me: ‘what did you say about me?’ Her: ‘I said you were fat, mama, im sorry’ Me: ‘let’s talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It’s not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?’ Her: ‘yes! I have some here on my tummy’ Me: ‘that’s right! So do I and so does your brother!’

Her brother: ‘I don’t have any fat, I’m the skinniest, I just have muscles.’

  via : Instagram  

Me: ‘actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts.’ Her brother: ‘oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me’ Me: ‘Yes, that’s true. Some people have a lot, and others don’t have very much. But that doesn’t mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand?’ Both: ‘yes, mama’ Me: ‘so can you repeat what I said?’ Them: ‘yes! I shouldn’t say someone is fat because you can’t be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it’s okay to have different fat.’ Me: ‘exactly right!’

  via : Instagram  

“Each moment these topics come up i have to choose how I’m going to handle them. Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable. Since we don’t call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else. Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest. Just do you!”