Ever Wanted to Know Why CVS Receipts Are So Insanely Long? | 22 Words

There are many unnerving questions we have in life, some we are far too afraid to ask for fear of judgment or, that there might not be an answer to it. If you feel any fear about asking this question, leave it at the door because I am about to answer one of your biggest concerns: why are CVS receipts so dang long?

Listen, it may not seem important to you, but for an avid shopper, it makes absolutely no sense to see a receipt that is as tall as you are. There must be a valid explanation for this mystery of life and what better way than to take it to the internet with humor, in a classic roast of the beloved CVS Pharmacy. We're about to get some answers and a whole lot of laughs.

A little too much

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It's inevitable. It's startling. It's suspicious. It's confusing. CVS receipts: the longest piece of paper we will ever get.

This is real

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If you're reading this, it's not fake news. I wish I could say this was a dramatization or a mocumentary but all of this is true.

Let's set the scene

Welcome to the land of great prices, and home of the ridiculously long receipts.

How it starts

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Let's say that you have a cold, or you forgot to buy a birthday card. So, you head to your friendly CVS Pharmacy, expecting a quick trip with no drama, nothing extra.

Give em your digits

You punch in your ExtraCare card number. It's usually a home phone number that doesn't exist anymore, but it still seems to registers in the system, providing you with a discount.

Serious relief

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It makes you nervous to see that the cashiers don't blink twice at your fake phone number. You wonder if you'll ever get your own card number or will you continue to mooch off of your parent's ExtraCare rewards? It's a question for another time.

Make it rain

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Before you know it, the receipt machine is spewing out an unbelievably long receipt, and you almost can't handle the intensity.

What just happened?

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You leave the store with one item and a one hundred foot receipt. You are in a state of complete shock, even though it's happened to you before, you can't help but feel shocked each time.

Now what?

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This is the moment where you ask the big question, why is this thing so insanely long? You're unsure whether not you should throw the receipt away or shove it in your purse and move on. Should it be saved for future use?

A real life nightmare

This woman had a CVS receipt that is the size of her entire body. How does this happen?!

A unit of measurement

Did CVS give us these extreme lengths so we could use it as a unit of measurement? That seems quite plausible.

This makes sense

Ok, I'm starting to see how this might be an accurate unit of measurement.

That's a long game

Another fairly accurate unit of measurement. CVS receipts transcend time and length.

Dress it up

Turns out, CVS receipts make a great Halloween costume. They're a real crowd pleaser since everyone's experienced owning a receipt like this in their life.

But why all the hype?

This is crazy, right? No receipt should be this long, no matter what the deals are. This seems over the top.

In comparison?

This is just the truth: in comparison to other stores, it is clear that CVS stands out for their extravagant lengths.

Let's roast them

Jimmy Kimmel puts CVS on blast after the president of CVS personally promised a change in lengths for receipts because even he knows that these receipts are insane.

Is CVS just evil?

Are our ice caps melting because of these receipts?

Bye, bye trees

I don't want to think about how many trees CVS kills!

No joke

Rainforests shed a tear every time you shop at CVS.

Coupon King

I mean, I get that they are giving out some pretty good deals, but there has to be a better way that doesn't involve such lengthy receipts.

Asking all them questions

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One journalist reached out to CVS and asked the question that we have all been dying to ask: why do you guys make your receipts so dang long?

Change soon?

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A spokesperson responded, noting that the company has “taken a number of steps over the past several years to redesign elements of our receipts and the ExtraBucks Rewards that print on them to make sure we’re making them shorter where we can but also making it super easy for customers to understand how many rewards they’ve earned or what savings they can take advantage of."

Customer care

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CVS doesn't care what lengths they have to go to for their customers. They want us to know that they care about us being happy and saving some money, even at the cost of printing mile-long receipts.

It's all about those rewards

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If we really took the time to look at those coupons, we would love the fact that there are many options. But, how many people put these receipts to use regularly?

CVS cares a whole lot

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The Wall Street Journal noticed the intensity of the receipts as well, stating that even "CVS cashiers sometimes jokingly ask customers if they would like shopping bags to tote their receipts."

Enough is enough

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Clearly, people have had enough of this insane receipt tradition. They care more about saving some trees than saving a few dollars.

"Skip the slip"

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There's even a campaign to cut down the lengths of CVS receipts. Green America has a petition for customers to sign, urging CVS to "replace its BPS-coated paper receipts with a phenol-free option and to offer digital receipts to all customers."

They hear us

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After many cries and questions about their receipts, they finally responded. The Boston Globe reported that CVS would be cutting down their receipts by 25%.

Paperless, please

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A CVS spokesperson said, "We heard loud and clear that while our customers loved receiving coupons and special offers via receipt, many wanted a paperless option."

Other options

Spread the news, tell your friends, go paperless. Even if CVS won't stop this madness entirely, there's something shoppers can do.

Reduce, reuse, recycle

Another great alternative. Revenge and recycling? What a powerful combination.

Fashion statement

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You could channel your anger into a new, fashionable look.

Make it stop!

For the love of mother earth, let's put an end to this madness.

Let it all go

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Know anyone who is an avid CVS shopper or coupon master? Share this article to help give them the answers they've always wanted.