Even if its theme isn't The Office and you're not stressed about finding the perfect gift as somebody's Secret Santa, I'm sure there is something that makes you cringe whenever you think about that upcoming Christmas party.
It's not that you don't like the people you work with, because you really do. It's just that there's a difference between a 'party' and an 'office party'. But your CEO doesn't seem to know it. And when your managers and booze get together, well, trouble is bound to happen.
The party usually goes one of two ways. One, you carefully count the number of drinks you have and act like the perfectly responsible employee you know you are not. Or two, you go all-in and the next morning start looking for a new job. There's no in-between.
But this gamble is just one of many, many reasons why office Christmas parties should not be a thing.
Oh, the anxiety.Should I drink? Should I not? "Should I stay or should I go?" What if I have a couple of drinks but lose count and do something really embarrassing and everyone will think I'm an alcoholic party animal and I get fired? But what if I don't drink and get bored and they think I'm boring and I end up a loner like Bob from Accounting?
And even more anxiety.
My company Christmas party tonight. Two goals: 1. Keep the bar tab under $15k 2. No one does anything that will get me sued. 🤞🤞— Joe (@Joe)1544811137.0
When you know what they like, but don't want to get them in trouble.
Festive Christmas decorations and the Christmas spirit.
Another one to prove my point.I must admit, this one is quite genius. Doesn't improve my expectations for the party, though.
Dancing in front of your colleagues and managers.
Got some new moves for the office Christmas party 🎉 🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/LXkm249E0I— Keith (@Keith)1530689126.0
This might also be needed.
In preparation for this year’s office Christmas party, I’ve pre-scheduled an appointment with HR for January 2nd.— The Alex Nevil, Reborn 1/20/2021 (@The Alex Nevil, Reborn 1/20/2021)1543946445.0
You see a whole new side of your co-workers.
Carol from HR when she’s had one too many at the office Christmas party. https://t.co/NH6DbU6Z8B— Anthony (@Anthony)1535931506.0
Some of us feel excluded.Those who have Christmas parties at the office hate it. And those who don't wish they did. Wouldn't it be easier to not have work parties at all?
The dress code.
How to win “best dressed” 👚👕👖👔 at the office Christmas party 🎄🤣 https://t.co/NOTtPpL4Pv— Santa Claus (@Santa Claus)1537910276.0
It also doesn't let you express yourself.
i'm not saying stat parties are the best parties but we did play a rousing game of Pin the Tail on the Distribution… https://t.co/LfEcUYdT0T— alex hayes (@alex hayes)1539466114.0
The music.When it comes to music, office Christmas parties always use either traditional Christmas songs or the 2008 era. Please, do stop the music.
You might not even get a gift.
when u find out at the office Christmas party your "secret Santa" got fired 2 weeks ago https://t.co/bH1CiFbxYS— Tony X (@Tony X)1542687469.0
@DustinFox37 https://t.co/M5Wo3CK805— Luke 💜🐍💛 (@Luke 💜🐍💛)1543633862.0
However, there might still hope.
I’m taking bookings now for anyone who wants me to show up to their office Christmas party drunk, naked and covered in beans— acab for cutie (@acab for cutie)1540861818.0
Office party for one, please.
Stood outside the toilets. Caught sight of myself in the mirror. Told myself exactly what I think of myself and wha… https://t.co/VXJ4mXw0Ju— Danny Sutcliffe (@Danny Sutcliffe)1542389940.0
Lots of unexpressed anger there, aye?
Tonight's #CowboysQuestions is what should my office do for our Christmas party?— New Year New Name Cowboy Socialist 🌹💉 (@New Year New Name Cowboy Socialist 🌹💉)1542673028.0
There's a solution for the single.Who needs a real relationship when you can have a pretend one? For all you know, a fake date could be much more romantic. It will definitely be fun, though.
And a solution for the drunk.
You can't get drunk at your office christmas party if you turn up already completely smashed https://t.co/oqGtgzofwb— Zeke (@Zeke)1544532186.0
And a solution for the bored.
For our Christmas party we did bandeoke (karaoke with a live band) and some woman was proper going in like it was h… https://t.co/VnKOtCRqWT— GHANA'S FINEST (@GHANA'S FINEST)1544789523.0
But no matter what you do, the next morning's going to be rough.
me walking into the work christmas party tonight vs me walking into the office tomorrow morning https://t.co/LkxZ6EWJup— ellie⁷ 🍂 (@ellie⁷ 🍂)1544100215.0
And you'll have to face everybody again.
I had too much to drink at the office christmas party and told everyone I was a lesbian.— Stap the Mattness (@Stap the Mattness)1544707374.0
And the aftermaths of your poor problem-solving skills.
After a bizarre night at the company Christmas party, I’m now known as “the guy who tried to summon the demon to de… https://t.co/erSnX3lw6r— 𖤐 Father Drinks McGee: Egomaniac𖤐 (@𖤐 Father Drinks McGee: Egomaniac𖤐)1545055806.0
And the aftermaths of your poor decision making.
best on ground goes to my friend who gave the HR lady a lap dance at his work christmas party last night and got an… https://t.co/u0ljvmG7fh— claire (@claire)1544861113.0
Then it will get worse.
Well I completely ruined the works Christmas party by getting absolutely fucked then getting down to my boxers in junk yard golf 👍🏼👍🏼— Lewis (@Lewis)1544825412.0
That is, if you survive the night.
The next morning will be so bad that you might just have to do what this guy did to get through.
@MckKirk I once got absolutely wasted at the office Christmas party and spent the next day hiding in a nest made fr… https://t.co/vQ0Qmy69Oz— Sean Oxspring | OnlyCans OUT NOW 💦 (@Sean Oxspring | OnlyCans OUT NOW 💦)1532430038.0