A twenty-six-year-old woman has a seriously tricky question for the internet involving her late mom, her father, and her father’s new girlfriend.
Reddit user @ThrowRAWOQ explained how her mother had been battling an aggressive type of cancer for a year and a half and, while also going through the process of divorcing her father, she tragically died.
“My dad had a blow-up during his birthday, telling her he could not believe she couldn’t put on a happy face for just one day. He quickly moved out of the house and rented a place where he took his business trips,” she continued, adding that her mom was “in denial” about the split until someone told her they’d spotted her husband “out and about kissing another woman.”
“She filed for divorce one month before her death and my dad went public with his new girlfriend (27F),” she continued, “After she died, my dad came to the house with a family friend and made a huge scene crying and saying they had a good marriage and family.”
She explained that even though her parents were in the process of getting divorced, at the time of her death, everyone had relied on her father to plan the funeral.
“But conversations with him usually turned to preparing the house for sale and dealing with the estate that he expects to get as the husband,” she says, “He and his girlfriend moved into the house and finally he said that me and my mom were the event planners in the family so it would be better in my hands and he gives me full right to do as I think best.”
“He also said he wanted no events at THEIR place because his girlfriend is a germaphobe about where she lives.”
She continued, explaining how after her father’s reluctance, she ended up planning her mother’s funeral herself with the help of her grandmother, aunt, and her mother’s best friend.
“When I sent him the formal notification about when and where we would be holding the memorial he asked why there wasn’t one addressed to his girlfriend and then showed me screenshots of chats where both he and his girlfriend were criticised,” she says.
“All the people who put love into my mom’s funeral think it’s inappropriate for the man my mom loved her whole life to be sitting next to a new girlfriend,” she wrote, “In addition my dad and his girlfriend are nicknamed ‘Couple Club Molly’ by everybody in our circle under forty because of how much PDA they show whenever they are out together. Her always sitting on his lap, making out, keeping their hands at inappropriate places.”
She described that when she approached her dad to ask they could taper off the touching and rubbing up against each other, he denied doing it and accused her of telling him how to grieve. “My dad never used to be like this,” she explained, “He used to be very affectionate and gregarious but now everything that’s so charming about him is worse than glib.”
The Reddit user is now growing concerned for her grandmother’s health following the loss of her daughter and seeing her daughter’s husband with another woman.
She ended her post by asking if she should “bite the bullet and formally invite his girlfriend.”
“I wouldn’t invite her if it were me & it’s your dad’s decision if he wants to attend or not,” one person responded, “People can form their own opinion about the situation. She isn’t a friend or family member. This is just the beginning of him imposing her on everyone, I’d set boundaries now.”
Another agreed, saying the woman’s father has shown his “real character when he treated your mum like he did.”
“He’s selfish and tbh it wouldn’t surprise me if he was already having an affair before he broke up with your mum,” they continue, “Tell him if he can’t respect yours and your families wishes don’t bother coming.”
The only sympathy Reddit users gave the father was the idea that his former wife’s cancer battle reminded him of his own mortality which caused him to act out: “Your father’s worst came out when your mother got gravely ill,” they suggest. “Often this is because people fear death. Seeing the reality of your mother’s cancer was too much for him. He reacted like a child and ran away.”
What do you think – should she be angry at seeing her father move on?