A woman in Australia just got the letters “KFC” tattooed on her lip and I have so many questions. Less of the “why” variety – because I totally get, but more “where did you find the courage.”
We’ve all gone through weird phases as kids. I went through a phase where every meal included dairy. Those were some delicious years, but my poor family… they didn’t make it.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, chicken. Here’s my motto for when someone both offers me some chicken or offers to get me a tattoo: “why not?” And that’s why I have a tattoo of every character from Fraggle Rock on my thighs, and I weigh roughly as much as the villain from that animated Spider-Man movie.
This intro has really gone off the rails. Let’s get to the real “meat” of the story, shall we? That pun brought to you by the fact that in the next 10 years I’ll probably be a dad. The transition is already starting. Sadly.
This is Tabatha Andrade.
Just a sweet, innocent, 20-year-old from Australia. She’s just a regular girl with regular problems. She enjoys long walks on the beach, listening to podcasts in her car, and the smell of a fresh baked DiGiorno pizza cooling on the window sill.
(Note: all of this is unverified because honestly, we didn’t bother to ask.)
But she has a dark secret.
Tabatha loves KFC.
And not in the same way you or I do. Something that drove her to do something insane. Something despicable. Something unfathomable.
KFC drove her to
kill get a tattoo of their logo on her lip.
Okay, so not that despicable. Unless you happen to be her parents.
Here’s a close up.
So why did she do it? Well, the same reason anyone gets a tattoo of their boyfriend or girlfriend on their body. She did it for love.
“[KFC] makes me happier than anything else in the world.”
It’s love at first bite, folks. And where better to put at tattoo than the place you shove those delicious 11 herbs and spices in the first place?
Let’s just hope she doesn’t have a tattoo where the herbs and spices typically exit…
And who could blame her?
Everyone loves chicken. Her reasoning? She’d thought about it for a while, and was just waiting to the right moment to get that perfect tattoo.
She’d even spoken about it with her parents. Well, kind of.
She says, “I told my parents I wanted to get a tattoo, and they said I could get inked with something that was important to me.”
Nailed it. KFC is the most important thing.
How much KFC does one have to eat to become this obsessed?
Well, according to Tabatha, she goes once a week, if not more.
HOW? How does she eat greasy fried food multiple times a week and look like that? Meanwhile, if I even stare at a hot pocket I gain 15 pounds.
Her friends have even given her a nickname.
“The Chicken Connoisseur.” Now, that’s impressive.
The only nickname I’ve ever had is “human garbage can.” But my mom says she calls me that out of love. So… ?♂️
She loves chicken so much, she even named her dog Nugget.
Which is like pretty adorable. Not only is it a great name for a dog, but it’s also meaningful! We named my dog Pudding for the same reason.
God, I’m being way too mean to myself in this article. Someone find me a therapist or something.
Here’s an artist’s rendering of Nugget by the way.
He’s a big boy! If only he put on weight as his owner does, and not like Christian Bale when he’s preparing for a role.
So what did her parents think?
Well, according to Tabatha, “I showed my parents when I came home, and they thought it was fake. But they’re okay with it now.”
So that’s nice. But there is one saving grace.
She also has a tattoo of the word “family” elsewhere on her body.
So if her parents are ever upset, she can always whip that one out and make them feel bad all over again.
Plus, don’t lip tattoos fade after a couple years anyway? By the time she’s out of her chicken phase (let’s face it, never), that puppy won’t even be visible anymore. It’s a genius idea.
And despite looking painful, Tabatha said getting her inner lip inked “did not hurt at all.”
Good. And I hope it healed fast because having to blend all that KFC into smoothies wouldn’t be half as fun, even with some extra gravy thrown in.
How many people just gagged at the thought of that? Sound off in the comments.
She also added, “I have absolutely no regrets. It’s my favorite tattoo.”
Strike two, Tabatha’s family. I guess you’re not as important as chicken after all.
Where’d she get the idea in the first place?
I bet you’re never going to guess where this impressionable near-teenager got the idea from. Make your guesses now.
We’ll reveal the answer… after the break.
Just kidding! She got her idea from Kendall Jenner.
I shouldn’t throw shade at the Jenner’s influence because someone will find my house and make me watch every episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and it will probably be one of my younger cousins.
So with that being said: it’s so great that’s she’s happy!
“I love the shock I get from people when I pull down my lip and show them. It’s always so funny.”
To be honest, I would get a tattoo just for the memes. It would probably also be on my lip, and say something like “Help I’m suffering from a case of crippling anxiety and I don’t know what to do about it.”
That should fit on my lip.
And of course, it wouldn’t be a story if she wasn’t trying to get something out of it.
“It would be awesome if they gave me free KFC because of it. Let’s see what happens.”
I would become a walking NASCAR suit if it meant I started to get things for free. Heck, I’d even change my name to Tesla if I could get a new car. And then people would think I’m way smarter than I actually am. It’s a win-win.
This isn’t the first time this has happened either.
A Sydney teenager, Brooke Collins, scored free chicken for a year for her KFC tattoo.
What’s with Australians and KFC tattoos? Someone, please explain this to me.
She even roped in her friend to get one that matches! At least they’re not like super tacky pictures of the Colonel or something cringy like that.
I wonder where I could find something like that.
Skull and crossbones? No. I want Sanders and Drumsticks.
This is genius and I’m not even mad. If I ever join a biker gang, this is what I’m getting. Sorry, mom.
I would say this was the result of someone “doubling down” on a bad bet.
This is like if KFC met God and they had some kind of tattoo baby. Or like some kind of weird KFC LSD fusion.
Why on the foot?
Why? Why on the foot? What do you have to gain from this? Now you can’t wear sandals or it’ll look like you’re smothering Colonel Sanders with some kind of bikini bottom.
I literally can’t think of anything else to say other than I did not give this person to use my likeness on this tattoo and I’m suing them for image rights. But this is amazing.
Tupac would be proud.
I’m like shades away from just getting a collage of these all up and down my back. No one can stop me – only my poor finances because this would be way too expensive.
What a ray of sunshine.
The craftsmanship is still a 7/10 though, so it’s got that going for it.
What part of the body is this?
The weird way this image is blacked out makes me way too curious than I should otherwise be. What is happening to me, why am I looking at so many of these tattoos with so much envy? I have to stop.
Would you ever get a tattoo like this? What if it came with free chicken for a year?
Let us know in the comments, because we’re really curious where everyone stands on this one.
Or is getting a tattoo not such a great idea? Sorry Adam, it’s nothing personal.
Maybe I’m just upset because Adam Levine ruined his perfect body with so many tattoos, and that’s saying something considering I just wrote this article.