Women can at times be a bit complicated.
And, as much as you may wish you could, you can't read their minds.
There are some things that men who are interested in women might avoid doing in order to avoid being "creepy." It might surprise you, but some of those things you think are "creepy" might actually be anything but. In a recent AskReddit thread, thousands of women came forward to share the things that men might think are creepy but which are actually pretty normal. Obviously, your mileage may vary, but here are some of their answers:
Guys that swear in a normal conversation amongst themselves, then they see me and get all flustered/apologetic as if I care. – KittenFace25
Giving women a solid handshake. Men just tend to offer the tips of their fingers, or a weak handshake, as though they'll break our hands. – Misrabell
My friends group has more guys in it than girls, so on game nights, I'll normally end up sitting next to guys on the couch or floor. I've noticed that all of my body parts are lava. If they accidentally brush my leg they'll have to shift over or lean the other direction. We don't have a big space with like 8–9 people over so these things happen. I don't know what that's really about, but we all finally just had a good laugh about it when I grabbed one of them in a hug and was like chill I won't bite. – Bechwall
Texting or calling shortly after a date. We live in a world with a constant flow of communication; it is not abnormal to message me a couple hours after we parted ways to say "hey, I had a good time." Don't overdo it, but anyone who gets annoyed that you contacted them "so soon after the date" isn't really worth your time anyway. – LaSwanduh
Holding a door open for me. I like it, whether it's a car door or front door somewhere, I appreciate it. Maybe it pisses off some people, but not me. I also hold the door for people if I happen to get to it first. – RhinestoneHousewife
Saying hi. As long as a guy backs off if I say I’m busy or whatever, it’s fine. – silmarien1142
I think some men have this worry about walking behind me when I'm alone, especially when it's dark. Usually, I take a quick glance if I hear footsteps behind me. If it's a man, almost without fail, he will speed up to pass me or slow down to walk at a further distance in what I'm pretty sure is an effort to make sure I'm not afraid. – patientFalcon
If you think you've crossed a line, just ask about it and clear the air. I was once one of two women working in a construction situation. One of the older guys there was really salty, he'd make lots if crass jokes but was really careful around me when I joined the crew, I assumed checking out how I'd take it. But one day he approached me from behind and gave my shoulders a friendly squeeze. I tensed up like crazy and shrugged him off, but didn't say anything or follow up. A short while later, on a smoke break, he found a moment to say, very cool and upfront, that he felt like he'd crossed a line with me and wanted to know what to do to make it right. First of all, I thanked him for bringing it up; I tend to avoid conflict and never would have said anything. Then I told him that he could say absolutely anything around me, I have a raunchy sense of humor and won't be offended by anything but that I absolutely do not want to be touched at all. Everything was always perfect from then on. He knew exactly where my line was and I super respected his straightforward question. – jedikelb
Being introverted. The stigma of introverts being creepy is odd to me because I find the quiet guy much more approachable than the loud extroverted one who pulls most of the room's attention. – eshilli
I think a lot of men are worried that compliments on appearance are ALWAYS unwelcome/creepy. “You look GREAT," from a stranger? Uncomfortable. “Your hair looks nice today!" From a coworker? Makes me smile. I guess the main thing is to be specific and make the compliment about something the woman has some control over, if that makes sense. Telling me I’m beautiful makes me uncomfortable because it’s not something I perceive as being in control of. However, I once had a random guy on the sidewalk say “Hey, I hope it’s not too forward but I like your style, you look really sharp. Have a nice day!" And that was a welcome surprise! It’s something I can control. I chose these clothes, I chose this hairstyle, I put thought and effort into what I was wearing, so it was nice for it to be recognized. Compliments on the body are uncomfortable, but compliments on my actions/tastes/abilities are welcome for the most part. – judgemental-snail
I'm only 28 but I won't be offended if you call me ma'am. I appreciate the politeness and I think women who get pissed off about feeling old need to get over themselves. – laurahrahrah
There is nothing wrong with finding me attractive and wanting a date. In fact, there's nothing wrong with telling me that you find me attractive, as long as it's phrased politely. Example: "Hey, so I've really enjoyed our conversation! You seem smart, funny, and (insert something you just learned about woman in conversation to show you were paying attention), and I think you're pretty. Could I (have your phone number) or (follow you on twitter) or (add you on snapchat)? I'd like to ask you out sometime to get to know you." I'd probably say yes. I mean, if I were single. – bri_like_the_chz
I've noticed a lot of men just in general conversation act way too careful about what they say to me. I imagine it's from bad experiences with specific types of women, but it's really awkward when someone tries to hold back on any type of humor or is being blatantly careful with words. Comes off as robotic. Like the human aspect of the interaction is lost. I get that this kinda thing is really subjective and individualistic, but there's just a point where it gets weird. – theflexorcist
Surprising me at work. I heard some girls talking about how creepy it is, if they recently started going out with the guy. I was totally crazy about this guy I had recently met and started going out with. I was thinking about him all day at work and then BAM! Like a wish he just popped up with some chocolate. It was super sweet. – TheWeirFamily
After my BF in high school and I broke up, he wrote me a poem. It was a really nice poem that was thoughtful and well written and he will probably be the only man to ever write me a poem, and I talked sh-t about him for it. I was still hurt and I didn't appreciate it and I wanted to distance myself from him and be cool and I was a teenager. It got back to him and I think about it all the time now. How many wonderful, creative, inspired men are hiding their talents because some high school b--ch didn't appreciate it the first time they showed it off? I acted like I thought it was creepy that he brought it to my house when really I was just heartbroken and I didn't know how to handle it. I think I might have messed him up a little, made him self-conscious — and the truth is now I'd love a poem. I'd love to be worth a poem again, but I feel like I had my chance. – Iwanttoiwill
Telling me how I make you feel. I prefer you letting me know instead of you dropping signals that I won't pick up. If I'm making you happy, tell me. If I'm making you upset, tell me. Just tell me in a manner where you're not a complete d--k. – ohs--titsausername
When I am feeling sad or excited I don't mind receiving or giving a hug platonically. I do it all the time between good gal friends but in the U.S. men and woman can never hug. It's never really bothered me as long as the intention behind it was good-hearted. – SilentStrategist
Striking up an appropriate conversation if you're both clearly interested in the topic or have something genuinely in common. I used to read a lot on public transportation/in restaurants/etc, and if someone came up to me to have a conversation about the book or the genre I was ALWAYS excited to talk about it. – revolutionutena
Men who make and keep active friendships with women, even whom they’re attracted to, without trying to hit on them or take it any further. They only try to take it further when they know for a fact the attraction is mutual and that they’re not otherwise taken/off-limits, or just drunk or otherwise out of their skull. – miloby4 Share this list with someone who's always afraid of making the wrong move!