Calling all Ranch dressing devotees! Hidden Valley recently announced something life-changing: For the first time ever, customers now have the opportunity to purchase an entire keg of their favorite creamy salad dressing and dipping sauce.
Why would anyone need that much Ranch? If you have to ask that question, you clearly just don't get it. For those of you who have ever felt the need to drown their salad in this tasteful dressing, dip their wings into the creamy sauce, or spread the deliciousness on top of a slice of pizza (yes, that's a real thing) then keep reading. You won't be disappointed.
Sometimes, instead of throwing you lemon after lemon, life actually surprises you and hands you a glass of lemonade.
Yep, you heard me correctly.For the low low price of only $50 dollars, you can purchase a silver keg filled with the dressing of your dreams. Five liters of that dressing, to be exact.
Now, the non-believers among us may be scoffing in disgust at this momentous announcement.
But the true Ranch fans know in their hearts what a big deal this is.
On pizza? Obvs. On wings? Of course. On salad? duh.
The thing is, Hidden Valley is not a company known to shy away from coming out with ridiculous Ranch-related products.Take, for instance, this giant Ranch bottle that was available just in time for Christmas. Because nothing says "Seasons Greetings" more than a glowing inflatable bottle of salad dressing on your front lawn.
Oh, and did someone say Ranch Fountain?Three tiers of heavenly, creamy delight just waiting for you to dip your veggies, toast points, and fingers into. Nothing says "instant party" quite like a Ranch fountain.
Feeling chilly? Warm up with a blanket featuring your favorite sauce.It also gives you some handy tips on what types of foods go best with the iconic dressing. Veggies, drumsticks, pizza, fries... Excuse me for a moment while I mop up my drool.
These socks really let you express your Ranch-obsessed personality.They also serve as your own personal Ranch delivery service. These babies will get you out of a variety of dressing-related crises.
As you might imagine, the reaction to this history announcement has been mixed.
Buy me a keg of ranch so I know it’s real. https://t.co/T6m8oVQ89k— Nathan Henderson (@Nathan Henderson)1510075424.0
This person seemed to go through a rollercoaster of emotions upon hearing the news.
"You seen this ranch keg? So ridiculous."- @CoreyRForrester "GOD DAMMIT WHERE IS THE PURCHASE LINK AT?!"-@CoreyRForrester, 15 secs later— Trae Crowder (@Trae Crowder)1510172396.0
This is a classic example of a misused punctuation mark.
There's no such thing as too much ranch? https://t.co/LU8xQxzOXk— WTHR.com (@WTHR.com)1510077035.0
This person seems to have their priorities out of order.
@traecrowder @CoreyRForrester I think it's great if you want to bathe in ranch dressing. Otherwise ...— Marie of Roumania (@Marie of Roumania)1510177392.0
Listen up, single folk.
Wanna win me over ? Send me a keg of Ranch dressing— Jmarie (@Jmarie)1534482819.0
This tweet brings up an excellent point.
Hey help me do this keg stand https://t.co/40MIDRYLhx— baby ruthless, hotgirl du jour (@baby ruthless, hotgirl du jour)1510026458.0
Reading this tweet made my stomach growl so violently that it sounded like I was about to be attacked by an angry Jaguar.
Today would be more fun if I could have a hot bloomin onion and ranch keg brought to my desk every hour.— gina (@gina)1512579235.0
"Oh, my" is right.
Also, the description says: "Includes a year supply of Hidden Valley Ranch!" Oh my.— Kim Bhasin (@Kim Bhasin)1510074700.0
Shockingly enough, the guys over at Esquire had some thoughts about the Ranch keg.
This ranch dressing keg is wildly unnecessary, but kind of awesome https://t.co/7iz9okorud— Esquire (@Esquire)1510085404.0
Sure, there have been a fair amount of keg haters.
@WNCN Why in the fresh hell is that a thing? Which Satanic worshipper greenlighted this?!?! https://t.co/JLJIIzrZnf— PJ (@PJ)1510109305.0
This person just asked a simple question: "But why?"
@BuzzFeed https://t.co/WoasVE6PL0— janine jensen (@janine jensen)1510205480.0
Honestly, I understand this guy's hesitation.
@KimBhasin don't be taken by this scam. it only holds 5 liters of ranch dressing, which is hardly enough— Tom Randall (@Tom Randall)1510074950.0
This tweet should make parents across the globe breathe a sigh of relief.
@KimBhasin Be prankin hella people at college parties— acquirer of cum sluts (@acquirer of cum sluts)1510100983.0
This person spelled "fantasy" wrong.
@WMCActionNews5 A new nightmare comes true every day— Anne Kelly (@Anne Kelly)1510109085.0
Lots of folks have been showing off their kegs on social media.
The Keg of Ranch I got Mrs. CHO for #Christmas finally arrived. God bless us, everyone. https://t.co/8GZd8sqIkT— Corey “The Buttercream Dream” Forrester (@Corey “The Buttercream Dream” Forrester)1514484711.0
I'd really like a formal invitation to this party.
Got my keg of ranch today and about to throw a huge banger. Girls are free and guys are $5. Hit me up for details.… https://t.co/bwnj2f88gz— Sequoyah Singles (@Sequoyah Singles)1514061432.0
Some people knew exactly who to share this news with the minute they heard it.
so many people have sent me this post about a ranch keg...I GET IT I HAVE A PROBLEM https://t.co/y3ZLD92AvT— Lucca (@Lucca)1510187670.0
This person clearly doesn't understand the Ranch lifestyle.Okay, so even I draw the line at a spaghetti and Ranch sandwich. There's something about the combination of flavors and textures that just seems wrong.
This man is 100% correct.
And it's "stackable," because who buys just ONE keg of ranch dressing?— Kim Bhasin (@Kim Bhasin)1510074850.0
This woman's "most America thing that has happened" tweet is a bit of a stretch.
this is the most American thing that has happened https://t.co/2bUnY7slU0— Ruth Brown (@Ruth Brown)1510077138.0
The truth is, the Ranch haters will never understand what makes this announcement so monumental.
@Hendo_121 https://t.co/wBnaz7sxwI— Eric Muschlitz (@Eric Muschlitz)1510208648.0