It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and that means the trees are out and starting to be decorated. Every family has their own traditions when it comes to decorating the Christmas tree. Since I grew up in a Jewish household, I didn’t have a Christmas tree until I moved in with my non-Jewish boyfriend a few years ago. Boy, was I excited to get that tradition started! But aside from the boxes of ornaments that I bought at the store that first year, I don’t have any other ornaments.
I had no family heirlooms, no sentimental popsicle stick reindeer, and no creepy weird ones passed down from generation to generation. And honestly, I’m OK with that. Did you know that there are so many strange Christmas ornaments out there? I have gathered a lot of them here so we can curate our forthcoming nightmares together– seriously, these are insane.
One of the best parts of the Christmas season is decorating your tree.
Unless you have to decorate it with the creepy nightmare ornaments contained in this list.
Please proceed at your own risk.
Um, I don’t know what this is.
And I don’t want it on my tree. Or anywhere near me.
A Pierogi ornament
This isn’t necessarily creepy, but it does make me hungry– and I think that’s just rude.
Han-ukkah ornament
What a weird moment from Star Wars to make into a Christmas ornament.
Is it supposed to mimic a nativity scene? I’m confused.
Homemade
This was clearly made by a toddler who finished constructing it and then put it in their mouth and chewed on it until it was unrecognizable.
No thanks!
A literal chill went down my spine when I looked into this thing’s eyes.
What is it? And why is it?
Alice in Wonderland
This is like if Alice was made by Tim Burton…
…or a serial killer.
Clown
Clowns are super creepy all-around, but the worst thing about this clown isn’t having it on your Christmas tree.
It’s that moment when you realize it’s not on your Christmas tree because it has disappeared and will reappear later that night to murder you.
Evil snowman
Apparently, this vicious-looking snowman is from Dr. Who, as in WHO knew that show was so terrifying and messed up?
Naked baby
Um, I don’t really want to describe what I think is going on in this ornament because I think it would get me arrested?
Mermen
I am a little confused by these ornaments, but I am by no means opposed to them.
I like that there’s one for every interest.
Zombie head
This isn’t like a cute cartoony zombie head with a Santa hat on or anything. This is like, full-on Walking Dead level terrifying.
Quite a scene
So it looks as if this immensely bored fairy with leaf-like wings has a strawberry for the bottom half of its body.
Where do people their ideas?
Dead gnome
Well, this is quite the sad fate for the gnome ornament.
He didn’t deserve this.
Mad Santa
Santa looks like he’s wrapped in plastic wrap and I don’t know why. He also looks pretty sunburned.
Maybe he had a hard summer?
Santaur
This is an obvious mashup that I honestly can’t believe didn’t happen sooner. Shout out to Santaur’s crazy abs.
Nazi Christmas
I have no words for these ornaments.
Next.
Bikini Winnie
So this is supposed to be Winnie the Pooh in a bee costume, but it looks like he’s wearing a black bikini.
Krampus
Deck the tree with creepy masks, fa la la la la, la la la la…Have all the nightmares you could ask for, fa la la la la, la la la la!
Burgers
These aren’t disturbing, really, but they don’t get me in the mood for Christmas, either.
They get me in the mood for a burger.
Patrick Star
You know, I awkward thought that Patrick was a five-pointed star, but it looks like he might have a sixth.
(I’m so sorry about that one.)
Sandbox
Really don’t know why this ornament exists at all, but it really does remind me of being a little kid.
Those Fisher Price turtle sandboxes where what all the cool kids had!
Die Hard
I really included this one to get the debate started: Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?
Please back up your arguments with citations and examples.
Hungry cat
Why does this cat look like it’s A- missing a bunch of skin and fur around both of its eyes, and B- cutely licking the organ of some creature?
A cowous line
Windy444 on Reddit came up with “a cowous line” and I thought it was so clever. Hilarious.
Why does this ornament exist?
Grumpy cat
While I could tell that this homemade ornament was supposed to look like Grumpy Cat, the proportions are all wrong, and it’s a little more terrifying than it needs to be.
Peter Griffin
Family Guy’s Peter Griffin as a character is disturbing enough with his clothes on.
This just takes it to a whole new level.
Spider-Santa
Has Santa been Spider-Man all along? It would make sense how he gets down all those chimneys so fast.
Dog lady
I don’t understand what’s going on here.
All I know is that that dog has a very voluptuous human woman’s body.
AHHHH!!!
The greatest terror of them all.
Merry Christmas! Share this with someone to spread the nightmare fuel!
