Camryn Clifford has decided to open up about the events that lead up to her husband, Landon’s death. The thirty-seven-minute youtube video goes into great detail about what was really going on behind the scenes.
This article contains subjects that some might find distressing…
Aged only nineteen, the parenting YouTuber has devastatingly died.
But warns viewers: “if you are easily triggered, I wouldn’t watch this video.”
Cam and Fam was born, and it quickly gained traction, with it today having over 1.2 million subscribers.
Cam and Fam documents the lives of these teenage parents…
And follows Landon and Camryn as they bring up their daughters together.
Disaster was just around the corner.
Camryn broke the heartbreaking news on her Instagram page, where she paid tribute to a “compassionate, loving, thoughtful, kind, and gentle” man.
“He was an amazing husband and the best father those girls could have ever asked for. It saddens me deeply that they will never get to truly know him.”
“He was so young and had so much more life to live. This isn’t how things were supposed to go. He was meant to make it to his next birthday. He was meant to walk his daughters down the aisle. He was meant to die old with me.”
But she is determined to stay strong for her girls. Her post concluded:
“Words can not come close to describe the pain I feel. All I can do now is make sure our girls know how much he loved us. He’s looking down on us from heaven and his light will shine through the clouds when we look up at him. May he rest peacefully.”
How did someone so young and full of life die so unexpectedly?
But felt she should tell her subscribers, who have followed their journey from the beginning, how he died.
Clifford opened up about Landon’s story, and his struggle with anxiety, depression, and ADHD.
“This is definitely going to be the hardest video I’ve ever had to make,” she began. “It took a while for me to obviously get over the initial shock and to just gather my feelings and my thoughts and to feel like I’m ready to tell his story. It’s a very important story to be hold and it’s my job to tell it, but it’s not an easy story to tell, at all.”
“Behind the scenes, he was always just kind of going through his own stuff,” she said. “He has had mental health issues for as long as I have known him.”
“Many factors just kind of contributed to the fact his mental health wasn’t great,” she said. He decided to speak to a psychiatrist and get medication to help him get back on track.
They decided to take a break from YouTube when their second daughter was born, as having 2 children to care for, and Landon abusing his medication was too much to deal with.
Camryn said Landon “seemed like he was having a good day,” although she could tell “something was wrong,” she said.
“He said he was sorry for everything he put me through. It was really hard on me when I was pregnant and he was heavy in his addiction and he wasn’t himself during that time and he was apologizing to me for everything.”
“I gave him a hug, a kiss and I told him I love him and that it’s okay and that no matter what he ever did, I would always love him and be here for him. After that he seemed okay.”
Camryn later found Landon in the garage, where he was not moving, and appeared to have taken his own life.
When paramedics arrived they were able to get a pulse and took him to the hospital but he was later pronounced braindead.
Before his death, Landon registered to be an organ donor, with Camryn stating, “even in death he was caring for other people.”
“I’ll never truly know the answer, but I know Landon and I know he was not thinking rationally,” she continued. “He’s a very impulsive person and he does things without thinking. I think he felt guilty about how everything has gone for the past year and I think he just felt like a burden and we’d be better off without him, which is so far from the truth.”
“I know that if he would have thought about it, he would have thought about the fact I’d be the one to find him and he would have thought about all the hurt he would cause me and he would have thought about his daughters growing up with him,” said Camryn through tears. “He wouldn’t have done it, if he would have thought about it more, because he’s such a loving, compassionate person. The last thing he would want is for any of us to feel this way.”
“He just had so much more life to live.”
Rest in peace Landon.
For more on the heartbreaking losses we’ve experienced this year, keep scrolling…