8th-grader Writes Hilariously Epic Algebra Problem. JJ Abrams Would Be Proud…

Oct 3, 2014 By Abraham 0

When Cody Swanek was told by his math teacher to take a certain algebra problem and convert it into a story, the 8th-grader dug deep into his knowledge of the Star Wars universe and wrote the most epic possible math question.

His dad shared it on Facebook

Cody’s homework was to make an algebraic expression into a word problem…this is the end result with zero input from me.

Star Wars Algebra

Via: Nerd Approved

Transcription…

J. J. Abrams is making Star Wars Episode 7. He rented three speeder bikes which was 700 imperial credits to start. He must pay 100 imperial credits to keep his speeder bikes daily. If he does not pay daily, Prince Xizor and other Black Sun members will kidnap J. J. Abrams, bring him to Mustafar, and sacrifice him.

J. J. Abrams is also paying 5 bounty hunters to keep separatist spies out. That costs 200 imperial credits to start, then 50 imperial credits for each bounty hunter every time they capture a spy. The Separatists send 2 spies every day.

In how many days does J. J. Abrams spend the same amount of imperial credits on speeders and bounty hunters.

Once you’ve figured out the answer, be sure to pass it along to Mr. Abrams. It seems like he’ll need it.

Lady Calls Religious TV Show to Thank God for Healing Her Hamsters…and It Only Gets Funnier

Oct 3, 2014 By Abraham 0

When people watch Springs of Life Giving Waters Ministries on television amazing things happen, apparently. So when phone lines open up, obviously these apostles and prophetesses are going to be inundated with testimonies of God’s miraculous power that has been demonstrated through their program.

In this instance a hamster breeder phones in with a remarkable (if scatologically cringeworthy) tale. As you listen, be warned — Surprise shofar praise ahead…

Via Boing Boing

Of course, it’s really British comic writer Robert Pepper. What a genius.

Proof the Game of Thrones Theme Song Was Written for a Western

Oct 2, 2014 By Joey White 0

Listen to this fantastic version of the Game of Thrones theme and tell me it wasn’t written for a cowboy movie…

These 21 ladies of Disney already know what kickass costume they’re wearing for Halloween

Sep 29, 2014 By Abraham 0

If the women of Disney all got together for a costume party, what other characters would they go as?

Artist Isaiah Stephens has some ideas. Needless to say, it makes for a wonderfully confusing interplay of various fictional universes…

Snow White as Wonder Woman

Snow White and the 7 Dwarves / Wonder Woman

Disney Characters in Costume as other Fictional Characters - 24

Princess Aurora as Danaerys Targaryen

Sleeping Beauty / Game of Thrones

Read More ›

Interviewer asks Kristen Wiig about her nude scene. Ummm…there is no nude scene

Sep 29, 2014 By Abraham 0

Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader join a Denver morning news show to talk about their new movie, but their interviewer hasn’t seen it yet. This might not have been completely obvious…except that he asked about doing the nude scene — a scene which, in fact, does not exist.

It is as awkward as any other interview foible, but the three of them play it off very amicably. This is plenty embarrassing for the interviewer, but because the video is going viral, he clearly did his job — the movie is being promoted far more for his complete failure than if everything had gone smoothly.

News reporters speak their minds, thinking they’re off the air. They’re not…

Sep 25, 2014 By Joey White 3

A technical glitch caused New York’s News 12 Bronx to remain live on air during what was supposed to be a commercial break yesterday. This wouldn’t be newsworthy except that anchor Matt Pieper and reporter Amy Yensi had a bizarre conversation about welfare that was broadcast across New York.

The two were about to report on the need for more school crossing guards, and Pieper was passing along instructions to Yensi from their producer when he went off-script…

(PG-13 language)

Here’s the text of the unfortunate exchange between the two…

Pieper: And Dave wants you to also mention that parents do their f**king jobs and walk their little kids to school on their own and not rely on everyone else kind of like people rely on government assistance for their entire lives. And bye Felicia. I actually added the part about government assistance but it’s true. I mean, how old are these kids?

Yensi: I think I qualify for government assistance (laughs)

Pieper: Just check that box, girl

Yensi: #EBT

Later that day, the station posted an apology to Facebook…

Screen Shot 2014-09-25 at 4.40.26 PM

It seems as though the station has applied the ultimate penalty, as neither the anchor or reporter are listed as a member of the station’s news team.