Hilarious Tweets That Prove Happy Wife Means Happy Life | 22 Words

Marriage requires love and mutual respect to get through better or worse, sickness and health, as long as you both shall argue over the temperature on the thermostat.

It also requires a sense of humor and understanding that proves, at the end of the day, a happy wife means a happy life.

Animal magnetism.

via: Twitter

And for those who are wondering, her name is Febee. She's adorable.

Fore!

via: Twitter

And with that a dish is chipped into said living room. Hole in one!

Step carefully.

via: Twitter

Just a little slip of the foot and suddenly you're able to buy name brand tin foil instead of the generic. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Did you hear that?

via: Twitter

That depends on the show. If it's a really good one, I would say five minutes max.

What a crybaby.

via: Twitter

*Mother-in-law hands him back* "He's your problem now."

Sweet dreams.

via: Twitter

Whisper sweet nothings into her ear... You know, Snickers, Twix, Kit Kat...

Hide and seek.

via: Twitter

Where are the cups again? In the cupboard. Do you mean in the cupboard? Sigh...

A well-oiled machine.

via: Twitter

Me. I am a laundry folding machine.

Wild weekend!

via: Twitter

Friday nights are when they put on their expensive pants. Wait. Typo. They put on their expansive pants.

Heating things up.

via: Twitter

After much negotiation, it was decided that 72 was great when he was around, but the second he leaves the house? All bets are off — and the heat goes on.

Coming clean.

via: Twitter

Plus, after the crime you would have to clean up, so there's even more laundry to do. It's a vicious cycle.

Set the bar a bit lower.

via: Twitter

The key is to leave them wanting more. In other words, don't ever let them know how much more you could be doing.

I do.

via: Twitter

But on the other hand, you know what you have at a wedding? Cake. You can have cake at your wedding.

An apple a day.

via: Twitter

Maybe be careful if she serves you some food and winks before you take a bite. You can never be too sure...

Sniff, sniff.

via: Twitter

A man cold is like a regular cold except it includes extreme fatigue from telling everyone that you have a cold.

A quick fix.

via: Twitter

You break it, you buy it. Or rather, you break it, you blame it on somebody else, and then you buy a new one.

No expenses spared.

via: Twitter

And even then, is there really any discussion? It will all even out in the end. I'm sure she picked you up something nice...maybe.

She's loyal.

via: Twitter

"When you push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon, then maybe we can talk."

So fancy!

via: Twitter

Netflix and dental gear? And if you're lucky, the good sweatpants and fancy new T-shirt.

Here kitty, kitty...

via: Twitter

He acts tough, but you know he's just a big softie. Plus, who doesn't love kittens?

Snap and send.

via: Twitter

Just some good, clean fun. Who says romance is dead?

What are these crazy metal things attached to a ring?

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Wait! There's a note. Thanks for the help!

It's always good to plan ahead.

via: Twitter

Plus, it could be worse. He could be her "late" husband.

Who's the boss?

via: Twitter

Forget five years. Where have you been for the past five hours? Pick up some milk on your way home.

I swear.

via: Twitter

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? I do, whether he likes it or not.

Just a warning.

via: Twitter

Awww, it so cute how he snores. *five years later* Maybe a pillow would help muffle the noise...

No fear.

via: Twitter

At least he knows his place. And how to make useful acronyms.

It's pretty taxing.

via: Twitter

You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run...

Suds up!

via: Twitter

Lather. Rinse. Repeat because you can't remember if you've already washed your hair or not.

That animal instinct.

via: Twitter

See? She's very proactive. Just remember — happy wife, means happy life.