People Asked The Internet for Relationship Advice, and the Internet Responded Perfectly

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Let’s be honest here — does anyone know how to date? How often are you supposed to text? How early is too early to propose? When do you take a new partner to your favorite, trashy chain restaurant? (I always do this one way way way too early.)

The point is, we need somewhere to go to ask all our relationship questions. And thankfully, that place exists. And it’s the internet.

Wait, don’t run away! They’re actually pretty good at this whole “making a relationship work” thing. See, the subreddit /r/RelationshipAdvice takes questions from the lovelorn and turn their queries into solid advice. We’ve collected here some of the most interesting questions asked to the group, as well as some interesting and insightful responses. Check them out, and see if they can help you figure out what the hell you’re doing in the dating game.

I have been so confused and hurt for the past day since he messaged me the video followed with a “we’re done.” The girl in the video is of a similar race to me and her lower half looks a bit like mine but that is where physical similarities end. The video isn’t of very high quality but you can make out she has a different nose, hair, face in general (only jawline is very similar). He won’t listen to sense. He says her moans sound distinctly like mine and it “sounds a lot like my voice.”

I have denied it and sent him various print screens proving it isn’t me such as nose differences, she has piercings and she has a gap in her teeth which I don’t etc. He still won’t believe me. I’m in shock. After eight years of being together, he can’t seem to recognize me? I’m completely lost. I’ve gone as far as to try to locate the original actress but to no avail. I’ve also sent the video to close friends to see if they think the girl could be mistaken for me and they all disagree strongly.medousah

If he’s delusional enough to see that she has piercings and you don’t and STILL think that is you, then just let this jerk go. He’s determined, against all reality, to believe that you are a porn actress. He’s either actively looking for excuses to make you out to be one so he can dump you OR he’s so insecure he’s achieved a level of delusional. – catnipfarts

She got ovarian cancer that was stage three a few years back and survived and has been in remission however she had to have a complete hysterectomy. She had mentioned a year ago she was considering surrogacy. She had told me she planned to use a donor as she has been single for a while. Thing is, I am in love with her and I have been for years but she has no idea.

As if unrequited love wasn’t complicated enough without surrogacy…

I know at one point she had feelings for me but I was seeing someone then and out of respect for my girlfriend at the time she never acted on it. I feel like before I give her an answer, which will be yes, I should tell her how I feel. I want to make her dream of motherhood come true and I am honestly touched she thinks so highly of me she wants me to be the father. So how should I handle this?buggybabybumperboats

What if you donate the sperm, she has a kid, then she meets somebody? And then that person will be raising your DNA kid with her…will you be alright with that? You really need to tell her how you feel. Even if she reciprocates your feelings, she may want to table having a kid for a while as you two adjust to a new relationship.dragonfliesloveme

My wife and I have been married for two years together for 15. All this time we had either not decided to have kids or had problems getting pregnant. After some medical testing, we found out that it was near impossible to get pregnant due to some medical issues with her. One day, she came home and told me she was expecting. Of course, I was super happy. A week later we had an appointment at the gyno and she had some blood drawn. The test came back negative and I was devastated. But she wasn’t. She claimed she was pregnant and the doctor was wrong.

It is not a good look to suggest she’s wrong, but…

We took some more store-bought ones and they all came back negative. My wife is in complete denial. Now she claims we are having twins. She is buying them clothes and decorations and is pressuring me to start with the nursery. I am at a loss and don’t know what to do. My inaction is making her believe that I want to leave them and that I am going to doom my wife into the life of a single mom. What the F is even happening. I love her but I don’t know what to do.

Oh, dude. She’s going through something very, very serious. You need to contact a therapist. Like turn off the internet right now and contact one. She’s having delusional thoughts. Her preoccupation with pregnancy and her sadness have overcome her. Good luck.SocalPizza

I post pictures on a few makeup subreddits. I get nice comments but I always get rude messages about how my makeup is looking disgusting and I’m ugly and makeup can’t help an ugly face. That I should kill my self and looking at my photo made them wanna throw up. I even got some scary messages saying they knew where I lived and they sent me my full name and birthday and college I go to. Someone was doing this to me and it really hurt my feelings. I tried not to take it personally because I thought they didn’t even know anything about me. I tried deleting and making new accounts but they always found me.

Well, my boyfriend was asleep and I saw the Reddit app so I wanted to see his profile so I could stalk him. I found his real account and I found a couple of other accounts too. He was sending me the messages and downvoting everything I’d post. I feel so horrified. I’ve gone to him so many times crying about these messages, especially the ones saying they knew my personal info and telling me they vomited after seeing my photos. He’d comfort me and all that. I feel so scared. I don’t know what to do.throwRA13457889

I think in a sick/twisted way your boyfriend enjoyed it when you were vulnerable and went to him for help?? This is definitely a situation you need to get out of ASAP.JordanArsenalfc1 Run! And never turn back! Wait for him to leave and pack up your stuff and leave. No reasons need to be given. (Make sure you tell your landlord if you’re on the hook on the lease, see if you can break it.) Block the hell out of him. That’s some crazy mind-boggling stuff right there. I can’t put into words of how to even describe someone like him.PonderWhoIAm

I got accepted to college, which was always the plan, and was looking forward to talking with my parents about the next steps and ask them to help me the same they did for my siblings. I always assumed they had money put aside for my college the way they had for my siblings. Instead, I was met with a story about my mom’s cheating, how I am the result of her cheating, and how my dad is not willing to support me any more moving forward.

Dad told me that mom had 18 years to let me know and prepare me for the future, but obviously she never did. He said it was never his place to say anything since I am not his son, and didn’t want to interfere with mom’s parenting. I always thought I had a great relationship with my dad. We go to see sports together, we go fishing together, he tutored me when I had difficulties with math (dad is an engineer), he taught me to drive. I never got a hint he stores resentment towards me. My mom has never said a word about anything, and apparently she was supposed to have “the talk” with me, but she never did. I feel abandoned and unprepared for what lies ahead. I am not even sure I will be able to go to college anymore, I always assumed my parents would pay for it. All my mom has done is cry and apologize. But nothing of substance, she has no idea how to help me. Do I apologize to my dad? What do I say to him?throwawaynocollege01

Despite being scared of what your dad will say, you’ll need to face it at some point. Get the courage up and have a discussion with him since your mom doesn’t have the capacity to have the discussion. You’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way. You have the strength, you just don’t know it yet. Ask him “do you still want to be my dad?” Straight up. And whatever answer you get, you’ll be okay. At least you won’t be in limbo anymore. If he chooses not to be your dad anymore, that’s jacked up, but you’ll be okay. My hope, as a father, is that he’ll come to his senses and you guys will work something out. But realize that your dad is the one who is willing to have the tough discussion, and it’s extremely tough. Mom isn’t being a mom right now. She’s caught up in herself.hd8383

My good friend “Aaron” and his girlfriend “Mary” have been together for almost seven years. Personally I would call them extremely codependent. Neither of them really have any friends aside from each other. She doesn’t let him have guy friends. In fact, she doesn’t let him do a lot of things. He’s not allowed to go out past 11, not allowed to drink or smoke, and he’s not allowed to be alone with other girls. Anyway, a few weeks ago he told my boyfriend and me that he was planning on proposing to Mary. Of course, we congratulated him because he seemed super excited.

Now here’s the issue: a few weeks prior to this, I hung out with a friend of Mary — “Alison.” Alison told me about a party they went to where Mary got drunk and slept with her ex. After the party, they began hooking up regularly, and she had a threesome with him and a friend of his. Aaron has no knowledge of these hookups. I told my boyfriend about it because he shares my friendship with both of them, and he believes that we need to say something but I’m not so sure how to even go about that. It will destroy him, ruin their entire relationship and maybe a friendship as well. However, I think in the long term he will be unhappy with a marriage where she’s so controlling. Not even that, but if she’s completely okay with cheating on her long term partner it will be the same once they’re married. Is telling him the right thing to do?anorangehorse

Can you guess what the internet suggested? That’s right: talk.

Tell him before it’s too late. He’s your friend.ngmDUCK I’d wanna know.123lowkick He might not take it very well, but I think you should tell him. He can do what he wants with the information, but as a friend, you should absolutely tell him before he marries her.pandaafetus

My boyfriend wants us to each pay for what we ordered. From the first date, he said that’s how he likes to do things. I was fine with it, I didn’t really care if he wouldn’t pay for me. Paying on a date is sweet to me and I like it but I have my own job so it’s whatever. I figured maybe he doesn’t have a ton of money and he can only cover his own bill. Anyway, I didn’t really have any problem with it. But we went out to a local Chipotle-type spot. He went down the line and he got his own meal. I ordered mine and then when I went into my bag, I realized I forgot my wallet at my house. I told him that I forgot it by accident and I thought he’d offer to pay and I’d pay him back, but he was like “oh that sucks…” and sat down to eat.

I was just like what the f*ck…? This guy standing behind me in the line paid for my food and I paid him back through cashapp. After we ate, I lied and said my mom needed me to come home for something and our date was cut short since we were supposed to go shopping in the city. How messed up is that? Like why is he so cheap? A random stranger paid for me and he wouldn’t.Erythrosite

This goes far past the monetary aspect. The part that got me more than the not paying is the “oh that sucks” like he didn’t even care and the fact that you would’ve been able to pay him back right away. Yikes.usernamechecksout211

I matched with this girl on Tinder. She was significantly bigger than girls I normally date, but we have literally everything thing in common so I figured I’d give it a shot. After talking for a few days we decided to meet up at this nerd bar. I get there and pick a table. After waiting a few minutes this beautiful woman comes over and starts trying to flirt with me. That’s very strange, so I assume she must be after something. Free drinks, drugs, my kidneys, I don’t know. I explain to her that I’m actually waiting for someone and I don’t want to give a bad first impression by chatting up some other woman when she walks in. That’s when she springs it on me that she’s actually the one I’m waiting for. She told me how she’s lost about 130 pounds over the past couple of years and she wants to make sure guys are actually interested in her and not just her body. And she was also testing me to see if I would ditch the fat girl if someone hotter showed up.

So here’s the thing, I don’t know how I feel about being “tested”. I don’t want to live my life questioning every decision I make like she might jump out from around the corner at any minute. But she’s also really attractive and very cool otherwise. I’m not sure how I should proceed.Anon_64

And ooh baby was the internet ever understanding.

When you’ve been that big for awhile people tend to only notice you for what’s on the inside. Suddenly losing weight and being valued for your outside can lead to some trust issues. Can you imagine maybe that friend she had for years suddenly trying to sleep with her because she is hot now? Or maybe being ignored at work as the fat girl and now suddenly everyone wants to hear what you have to say because it comes in a pretty package? Her outside package might have improved but she still is the same girl she was before the weight loss. She probably just wants to make sure she is valued for who she is not what she looks like.skeletoorr

My fiancé met my cousin and mentioned how beautiful she was and said: “Did I make a mistake being with the wrong girl?” And he apologized and said he was only joking. It truly hurt my feelings. I always see handsome guys and never would say such a thing to him. Marriage is a big deal to me and now I’m second-guessing all this. Any advice? Is it okay for me to be hurt or am I being crazy?

I can only imagine was he says when you’re not around.jhurdt123 My ex-husband would make similar comments towards the end of our marriage. Turns out he was telling his friends he wasn’t attracted to me and had very hurtful nicknames about me. Then he stopped coming home at night and spending the night at other women’s places.mary_stormageddon

It’s an awful thing to say. At best he has very low emotional IQ, at worst he has a cruel streak. Let him know, in very clear terms, that’s strike one.wildewoode

He’s not dumb, it just takes him several seconds to process what I say then formulate a response. I’m quick-witted and very detail-oriented… so it’s really testing my patience. Is this a deal-breaker? Or something I need to learn to work around and practice patience with?kc_kilmer09

Oh my god, five seconds? You would wait more than that to see a YouTube video about cats. You can do it for your perfect boyfriend.adolfguitar

If that’s a deal-breaker, then I have bad news for you: all people have tiny flaws like this that they usually don’t notice. Guaranteed you have some. I would just forgive it personally.TIE_FIGHTER_HANDS